Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Why Women Don’t Rule the World

I believe women could rule the world, but they are standing in their own way solely because they don’t know what they want (but I rarely say that shit out loud). They have three key factors in their favor: 1) they mature faster. 2) They control the reproductive process; even a test tube baby needs a woman. And, 3) Chances are it’s a woman raising and or teaching your kids. Now on to my reasons why women don’t rule the world…



1. Not even women know what women want.

The providers and inventors of female products and interest are mainly men. Shit, some dude named Earle Haas invented the tampon. The last thing a woman has invented for womankind that I can think of was the relaxer (Madam CJ Walker). The designers women are raving about normally have dudes running the show, from your Jimmy Choo to your Christian Louboutin. There aren’t many women lining up for that spring line of Baby Phat or Dereon. Even the movies and TV shows ya’ll watch are created by men, i.e. Sex in the City, created by Darren Star, and almost any chick flick involving a woman of color in the last 5 years probably had to go through Tyler Perry (Precious, For Colored Girls, Why Did I Get Married Too?, etc…).



2. Women don’t stick together.

I saw Waiting to Exhale, Steal Magnolias, Sex in the City, and even The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and all those movies were full of shit. Women don’t roll that tight. Friendships between women go up and down like the stock market during the recession; they will be BFFs on Friday then down-talk each other on Sunday like they ain’t shit to each other. I know firsthand; I’m normally the guy they are slanging the dirt to. Being that female friendships are more fragile than a sandcastle in a thunderstorm, it’s impossible for women to bond together and rise up.



3. Women are too fucking indecisive.

Women change their minds at the drop of the dime. If you toss a dime up in the air right now before hits the ground, chances are the woman standing closest to you has changed her mind like 3 times. I talk to women all the time, and what they want out of their hair, men, bodies, and just about everything in-between constantly changes. Women go from long hair to short hair and then to a weave. I’ve seen some women set a list of things they want in a man then go all the way against the grain dating a plethora of ain’t shit niggas while overlooking the good guys. Just in my office alone, this month only, I will see women change from gym rats into couch potatoes and Popeye’s number 1 customers into vegans. They change diet and exercise habits just to get a certain look then give it all up in the same breath.



4. Women are fucking crazy.

No explanation needed. Women being crazy is common knowledge.



The odds of women clearing up these issues in the next 3 millions years are highly unlikely.



Jean DeGrate has spoken.

1 comment: