I just finished watching the Chris Rock Netflix special. Man I swear they are giving everybody a check except Mo'nique. I mean Chris Rock is Chris Fucking Rock but they gave Katt Williams one and his last hit of anything of importance was a viral video of him getting choked out by an 8th grader... so yeah. Anyway. Chris was talking about how women will want your man; which is true because women play for keeps and shit. Men will only borrow your girl they don't really want her. Fuck all that Rick Springfield shit. Nobody actually wants Jesse's girl but Jesse. This is also true. It's a few times I thought I wanted another man's girl but a wise man once said popcorn always smells better than it taste. Hot buttered popcorn smells like heaven but the taste leaves a bit to be desired. Now I want some popcorn and I don't even eat popcorn. We're getting off topic. Let’s back to it.
A woman will take your whole ass man
If she wants your man she’ll put in the man hours and work her way up the circuit. She’ll do a few months in a side chick apprenticeship program while studying her competition. Consistently over stepping her boundaries; sabotage his existing relationship and get his main girl all the way up the fuck up out of there. Women don’t mind taking your gently used man off your hands and laying directly in your warm spot in the same bed. These bytches are savages but enough about that.
On to the men…
I once thought I wanted Jesse’s girl right up until I fucked Jesse’s girl. I mean she was the best type of girl. She was holding shit down for the homie. Around the 3rd stroke all that shit went up in smoke. She went from the best girl ever to UNFAITHFUL BITCH at the speed of light. I mean I still finished. I don’t want anybody to think I pulled out on some “Oh my God I can’t do this” type shit. She was dumb phat; my apartment could have caught on fire and I probably still would have finished. What I learned on that night 95% of men already inherently knew and nobody fucking told me. Which leads me to bullet point number 1…
Men know we can’t make your girl loyal to us
Ok off top… Men don’t have those delusions of grandeur. There will be no BBD “I thought it was me” moments when it comes to infidelity. Any man with halfway decent sense would never be in Kevin Hart’s wife (Eniko’s) situation. If she cheated on buddy with him it’s no way on earth he’s going to have confidence in being the exception to the rule. He’s not going to believe that he was that swagged up or that cool to make her give up on her morals and give him some pussy. Nope. Women are way cockier in that arena because her vagina is life altering, mind altering, and earth shatteringly exceptional. I mean if his girl was that great why the fuck is he on her line anyway?
Men barely want the women they have
Remember how much Al Bundy hated Peggy Bundy? If you were after 1995 that reference means absolutely nothing to you. Just run your young ass off to Google right fast and double back. Men are constantly holding back a thin layer of disdain for the women in our lives. We love you but we also don’t like you and we just bite our lips a press on. The more you’re around a person the less appealing they naturally become regardless of sex but women have mastered the art of being annoying as shit for no good reason. Some women even pride themselves on their ability to be annoying. True story.
Men don’t want your girl
Another’s man girl is like a weekend rental car. It’s fun. You can drive it like a mad man with reckless abandon then return it Sunday night and never look back. It’s no maintenance or upkeep. The boyfriend is dealing with all her attitude, listening to all her silly stories and tending to her day to day needs (and girlfriend be needing shit). No Christmas, no birthdays and no Valentine’s Day; because that all falls under the boyfriend doctrine of 1953. When you borrow another man’s girl you’re essentially getting the highlight reel version of her while he’ll be getting the MCM praise on IG because he ran to Target to pick up tampons and plays step daddy to her bad ass kids.
Women are down to take her spot and men just want to breeze thru
Jean DeGrate has spoken