Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Rules to having a successful “Jump Off” relationship

***Some folks don’t think it can be done i.e. CaShawn***

Before I get started a Jump Off relationship is a temporary thing it’s more of a quick fix until the next “real thing” comes along or the sex gets old (which ever comes first). Now with that understood on with the response...

You can’t plan a jump off; it kind of just happens like when you got this great face to face sexual chemistry but talking on the phone with each other is about as stimulating as watching the Emergency Broadcast Signal on loop.

Having a jump off doesn’t mean saying “Look here I’m only going to call you when I need to get my rocks off” it’s more like an unspoken understanding once you speak on it you’ve tainted it and you might as well cancel that jump off ASAP. Being in a jump off situation doesn’t mean calls and text messages that start at midnight either; you can enjoy the company of your jump off outside of the bedroom but you understand that she will never be your girlfriend or vice versa.

And now the rules...

1. Being in a Jump Off relationship is a two-way street you both have to have the same mind set there is no room for jealousy or territorialism. In other words you have to be able to share and even let go if need be. Please wrap your head around that concept.

2. You must retain an “Oh well” nonchalant attitude if you can’t take the heat you can’t do a jump off relationship

3. Frequency kills. If you getting up with her once or twice a month you’re good, once or twice every 3 months is golden, but once or twice a week you’re headed for trouble.

4. There are no upgrades. This is the best it’s going to get you can only go down from here or fade away.

5. The moment you stop having fun WALK AWAY

Follow these rules and you too can have Jump Off success emotional unscarred and soul intact despite what PBG might have to say.
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

In Current News (Just my thoughts)

200 pound chimp rips lady’s face off
I don’t want any pets that I can’t beat (man vs. beast) point plank period. If I buy a Pit-bull, Saint Bernard, Poodle, or the fucking gecko from the Geico commercials and I pull the leash and can’t move that motherfucker the next stop is the pound. Folks out here buying these exotic animals they can control have you learned nothing from Siegfried and Roy. What the fuck does a middle age woman need with a car stealing, Zoloft taking, 200 pound monkey? Buy a cat that shit never gets played out. If you stab a monkey with an 8 inch blade and he takes it in stride you know you done fucked up right. Does Hallmark have a “Sorry my monkey ripped your face off get well soon” card?

Ok Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds, David Boston, Fernando Vargas, Marion Jones, A-Rod and any other professional athlete that took performance enhancing drugs deserves a special award. If no else tells you “thank you” I’m telling you. Thank you for risking your hairline, career, penis, and your place in the hall of fame all for my entertainment. Yeah I know the better you play the more you make, but 250 million still can’t buy me a new ding-a-ling or replace these naturally flowing locs that are going down my back. A-Rod juice up all you like and hit a million homers; I hope the Yankees give you a billion dollars and I’ll watch all your highlights on Sportscenter in new admiration because you risked your dick to hit a ball far.

Chris Brown beat up Rihanna
Ok Chris Breezy beat Rihanna like a runaway slave and that’s some tough shit. She’ll probably sell like a million sympathy CD’s and her wounds will heal. Face it this beat down will turn into a come up for this young lady. Now on the other hand Shamika who lives 3 doors down from you is getting a mud hole stomped in her ass twice a month and can’t even get a lifetime movie but nobody gives a fuck either. Maybe we are giving these MILLIONAIRES a little too much of our attention.

Obama approval rating dropping
News flash people: Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was the global economy. It took 5 days to get water to New Orleans after Katrina. Did you really think that less than 30 days in office Obama was going to revitalize the economy, bring our troops home, and bring balance to the force in the universe? If so you’re a fucking idiot. The truth is it has yet to be seen if Obama is a great president or not and you won’t know it in the first 30 days nor the first 100 days or maybe even the first year. The good news is no matter how bad he might seem to the people that lack the ability to see pass next pay day he can’t be worst than Bush.

Hey these are just my thoughts
Jean DeGrate has spoken