Friday, December 31, 2010

Man Law 2011

These are just a few things I think should be read into man law for the new decade…

Thou shall not wear colorful digital watches (or colorful watches period).

Nothing says I’m old enough to smoke, vote, and drink, but I’m always down for a good game of freeze tag and maybe a happy meal with a orange soda afterwards like a bright candy apple red G-shock on a grown ass man.

Thou shall not take part in female fashion trends.

Remember a couple years back when men were wearing scarves with no coat, no jacket, just like t-shirt and scarf or sweater and scarf. Yeah, that shit was gay. Grown men were running around looking like Mary J Blige from the “Not Gon’ Cry” video or a part-time terrorist with those Keffiyehs (Arab Scarves). Now, in the final quarter of this year, I’ve seen a few men rocking those camel feet looking Uggs, and they look like fucking fools. (If you didn’t know, the Uggs Company makes more than one shoe, and they all don’t look like suede socks.) Just remember, women dress to impress other women, and men dress to impress women, but it doesn’t exactly work if you dress like a woman.

Thou shall not purchase girl cars.

You know that Accord/G37/Altima/3 series coupe you’ve been eyeing for sometime, stop; unless you’re eyeing it for your lady. When I see that Ford Escape pull and park, it almost breaks my heart to see a grown man hop out when I was expecting a 23 year old white woman. I honestly wonder what makes a man go to the dealership and say, “yeah let me get that white Volkswagen Bug”.

Thou shall listen adhere to these new man laws.

Jean DeGrate has spoken