Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What Really Grinds My Gears Vol. IV

Broke by choice people

I work with a gang of broke by choice people that complain about being broke all the time. I got these lottery playing “if I hit I'm going to do this and that” firing off vacation days because it raining type of folks. You want money bring your ass to work you want more money do some OT or shut the fuck up.

The Maury show

Really folks, ya’ll aint tired of embarrassing yourselves yet? Ok you a hoe and you don’t who your baby daddy is you can A. drag your happy ass down to the court building and have them subpoena the likely parties for blood test or B. give Maury a call have him fly those same dudes out so you can take a chance at getting your ass embarrassed on daytime TV. Everybody in your neighborhood already know you hoe why not shame your children, your family and yourself some more by letting the world know all while playing “are you the daddy?” “My momma saw your momma on the Maury show and she say they couldn’t find your daddy.”

Judge TV

Ok your next door neighbor’s bad ass son stole the car for the night ended up running over two of your trash cans and denting up your brand new Ford Focus. Instead of reporting it to your insurance or taking these people to small claims court you decide to go Judge Joe Brown/Judy/Hatchet for your chance to be on TV. Besides that fact that they seem bias as hell out the gate, talk folks like children and do everything short of telling you “SHUT THE FUCK UP” when you’re trying to make a point; this ain’t real court. I need to know what’s stopping people from saying “Fuck what you saying I ain’t doing shit like that. Kiss my ass your honor.”

Miracle Drug Commercials that just might do more harm than good

Turn on any network channel for 45 minutes to an hour and you are sure to see a commercial selling you a medicine for everything from erectile dysfunction, birth control that completely does away with your period, depression, herpes, bladder control, to just about anything. Now days if you have a problem pharmaceutical companies can cure for it; well more like a temporary fix. I mean how else can they keep getting your money? Once you get pass the people riding bikes, going on picnics, walking on beaches and varied assortment of dumb shit (what does any of that have to do with erectile dysfunction your guess is as good as mine) they run thru a list of side effects that go a little like this...

“Side effects include
Blurred vision
High blood pressure
A sudden loss of hearing
Temporary vision loss
Prolonged painful erection”

So just imagine being nauseous blind and deaf with a painful hard dick I think I’ll just wait for Mother Nature to kick in and take my chances with a limp dick. I might not get any pussy but I still hear and see.

What Really Grinds My Gears V maybe on the way but for now...
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Monday, June 15, 2009

Just Random

If I ever hit any girl 200lbs or better I’m going to just consider that a ménage
I hit a girl that was like 105 before so if hit a girl 200 or better that would be like 2 of her I need extra credit for that; ménage for JD

I don’t Twit
It’s just something about only having 140 characters to get my point across and I don’t like the term followers. I’m Jean DeGrate don’t follow me you might end up in somebody else’s girlfriend.

Facebook will get you late
It’s a notification for everything; you comment on a status a picture or anything every one of your homies will know that instant. Get tagged in a photo and all you’re homies will know. I’m just waiting for a married dude “away on business” to get tagged walking into a hotel with his mistress in the back drop of somebody else’s photo. It will be the first Facebook related homicide.

Broke people are always busy
I swear on everything I love I know a gang of broke people and every single one of them got a full fucking schedule. I’ll call these folks up when I got a free moment because I work 25/8 and they got tons of shit to do. These folks are at the movies, visiting old friends, taking trips you’d think they were on summer vacation. If you ain’t busy getting money what the fuck are you doing?

Fly ass homeless people
Everyday rain or shine I see two homeless men when I hop off at Silver Spring station. They got the good electric wheelchairs and always wearing different shit. I hadn’t really noticed it until one of these cats had the balls to wear an all white outfit and it was crisp. These dudes only bum Monday - Friday and during business hours. How the fuck can you do this selective bumming and where they plugging these chairs up at?

Peek - A - Boo stomach
It’s warm out and the stomachs are starting to show but it’s something about a girl that’s has slither of that flat smooth stomach that is just super sexy. So ladies if you got a nice shape with a flat stomach (not that raisin belly) go head and put on that T-shirt on that barely touches the top of your jeans JD will be watching.

Aigh I’m done talk shit thanx for reading
Jean DeGrate has spoken