Ok ladies, bitches, and hoes, I’m back with more advice to help you get out of another predicament women often find themselves in: when you’re not interested, and a guy just won’t get the message. There’re a few ways to tackle this situation depending on The Thirst level he exhibits, financial status, and whether he knows where you work or live.
***Disclaimer: This only works if you haven’t given him the cheeks. If he’s already smashed or even come close to smashing, (i.e. you let him suck your left titty) you may just have to sacrifice a farm animal to The Thirst Gods because JD can’t help you.***
Option 1: Ask him for money
A dude can damn near be in love with you, but when you try to get at those pockets without him even getting to second base that “love” takes a left. Don’t ask for any short shit like 100 bucks. Tell him you’re fucked up and facing eviction, need money for an emergency pinky toe transplant, trying to get your lacefront off of lay-a-way, or anything that comes to mind at the time. You’ve got to make it a large sum, 2 grand or better. (Sidenote: If you’ll spend 2 stacks on a lacefront, aka hair helmet, you have way bigger problems than this thirsty nigga on your back.) Will he give you money? Fuck no, but you better believe those calls, texts, and FaceBook pokes will calm all the way down. Actually, if he’s a baller type-of nigga, or fronting to be such like most of these lames, you may get your 2 grand, but I’ll guarantee you, he will start calling you much less. When he does call just say, “I hope you have some good news for me”. I guarantee it will be a really short conversation.
Option 2: Tell him your ex is about to come home from jail, and you want to work it out with him
The run-of-the-mill Simp will try to talk you out of being with your ex if your ex is just a regular around-the-way dude, but having an ex-con ex-boyfriend is a totally different ball game. He’s coming home from jail, which means no matter what you decide to do, he’s still coming home, and no dude wants to be the guy keeping a recently incarcerated nigga from getting some pussy. The fallback will be imminent.
Option 3: Your baby daddy is crazy
Since most black women over 25 have at least one kid, most of you chicks can use this. Shit, even if you don’t have kids, you probably could still use this. After all, if you aren’t interested, I’m sure you haven’t talked to the nigga about such details of your life; so just lie and say you have a baby or two… and a crazy baby daddy or two. A crazy baby daddy is some of the heaviest baggage a woman can have, especially since baby daddies are permanent and all. You can never gage the craziness of a baby daddy. He could be the “don’t have no nigga around my kids” crazy all the way up to the “sitting in your living room with the lights out waiting for you to come home to ask what’s your business with his lady” crazy. You may think the thirsty nigga is about that life, but real talk, no dude wants any parts of that.
Option 4: Be brutally honest
There’re only a handful of women who are going to give a dude that real talk; regrettably, most of those women are gold digging bitches. If you tell that nigga straight up, “Look here, me and you are never going to happen, and no I don’t want to be friends, not even on FaceBook. Don’t follow me on twitter; don’t Skype me; don’t call; don’t text; don’t even think about me nigga,” his pride won’t let him contact you again. I know you’re thinking, “But, I don’t want to be mean.” Cool, don’t be mean. Just have this dude irking the shit out of you until he finally decides to call it quits. According to published reports; The Thirst normally lasts anywhere between 3 months and 10 years. Please believe me; telling him to fuck off is the easy way out.
If you know he isn’t going to get the point on his own, it’s time to get creative.
Jean DeGrate has spoken