Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Top 5 Reasons Why I'm Still On FaceBook

I'm only active on two social networks; Twitter and FB. Despite the fact that 75% of my FaceBook friends are complete fucking strangers and out of the remaining 25% that I actually do know 90% of them I wouldn't acknowledge in the streets; I still logon every single day. This is why...

1. FaceBook is a mixture of everything
I'm not on Vine or Instagram or whatever new website that's all the hype for the cool kids these days but the highlights always end up on my timeline. I get the best of everything, currents events and news included, (and some of the worst too) without having to track it down. FaceBook gave me full coverage of the Troy Davis appeal and ratchet WorldStar fight videos. It's literally a one stop shop with commentary from people you vaguely know. Plus you know lightskin Keisha, Lil Dink's 3rd baby mother, is extra opinionated on everything from politics to the love between Beyonce and Jay-Z.

2. I like to watch your life from a far
Like I stated earlier I don't know most of my FB friends but it doesn't stop me from tuning in on their life with status update to picture uploads to status update. Some of you are out here flourishing, getting out your dreams, accomplishing fitness goals and jet setting all over the world. I see ya'll shining. Others aren't enjoying such fruitful lifestyles but it isn't any less entertaining. We got Kim who's a baby mother to 3 different niggas waiting for God to send her a man. That girl crazy. We got Greg that's off his religious and self betterment status updates every morning but come 5p he's share pictures from the "She Got Ass" fan page. Between all that we got women dropping thirst traps, people still worried about haters and get rich schemes. I wonder once going to replace last year's body wrap scheme?

3. Getting these blogs out
Even though I have a decent amount of subscribers to my blog on FB I reach a lot more people even if it's a one off readers. I share a post and homie shares and then their homies shares it and so on and so forth. I can't beat the exposure nor the commentary that comes from the countless FB groups I get invited too because I posted something that rubbed a few people wrong.

4. I like to start shit
If you read any more than 3 of my status updates you know I'm a fire starter. It's legitimately hard to believe that I still haven't been deleted by most of you. Even when I read my shit sometimes I think "This guy's a fucking asshole" but you're still here encouraging me to continue not being shit.

5. The women
My dot.com hooking up days are behind me. I left that shit when I left MySpace and the series Catfish solidify my retirement so don't expect me to be dropping any sweet nothings in your inbox ladies. I'm here for these pictures. When ya'll are talking about last night's episode of Scandal, the latest Beyonce song or why Gabriel Union should leave D Wade; I'm in those pictures. I'm reading the thirsty comments and laughing. I'm tracking down the pictures without filters or the great angles that find your flaws. I'm just looking to be looking it's by far my favorite past time.

I still haven't fallen out of love with FaceBook
Jean DeGrate has spoken