Monday, December 29, 2014

6 things to STOP doing for the 2015

I know I haven't been cranking out the blogs over the last few months because I've been super busy. I'm going to do better in the new year and I mean I'm really going to do it not in that "in the new year I'm going to be in the gym" kinda way.

But here's a list blog because everyone loves a list blog...

1. Stop taking pictures of receipts and posting them on the web

We get it you buy shit. Dinners, clothing, shoes and all types of other dope shit. We don’t need the proof that you bought your dinner. We don’t care how much you dropped at the mall today.

2. Stop posting all your massive coupon gains

Yeah it’s cool if you got a 65 inch Samsung 4k TV for a 1000. Please post that shit and post all the info of how you acquired it at such a dope price. Now if you obsessively sorted and collected coupons to buy 3 shopping carts full of dishwashing liquid for an average of 26 cents a bottle nobody gives a fuck excluding other manic couponers.

3. Stop dressing your little boys like the 4th member of the Migos

No explanation needed.

4. Stop making public record of your hoeness

Ladies if you’re going through “baes” like bundles of weave you might want hold off professing your new found love until you get a season change or two under your belt. Trust me posting pictures and the details about your latest bi-monthly HIM with only make you seem kinda hoey. You might be deleting your hoeness in your mind but Facebook and Instagram are keeping track. Kim we know you’ve got at least 5 new bodies in 2014.

5. Stop giving credit for shit that doesn’t cost anything

Let me elaborate on that right quick… You posted 10 selfies this morning and your new boo likes all 10 within a minute of you posting them then you praised him for it. No. Stop that shit. You shouldn’t receive praise for double tapping a picture on your screen of your cellphone with your thumb.  The same goes with “Good Morning” text and clever use of emojis.

6. Stop being thirsty PUBLICLY

This goes out to mostly men but some of you women are thirsty as fuck too.  These days it’s so easy for your thirst to be exposed to the masses via the invention of the devil known as “the screenshot”. Every text, FB inbox, DM, G Talk and email can fall victim to “the screenshot” releasing all the creep shit you’ve said in confidence to social media. I don’t personally know the scorn of having “Girl I want to eat your ass for Sunday dinner” posted on twitter but I’ve seen it and cried from laughter. Exposing thirst has sent many into social media exile and with that said why would you want to say some wild shit out in the open for the world to see? You really want to be the guy to openly say “Inbox me if you want me to buy your rent and eat your pussy”?

Jean DeGrate has spoken