Wednesday, February 24, 2010

7 Subtle Hints You Might Be Ugly

7 Subtle hints you might be ugly

It’s a few people out here that may have been miss-led by loving parents and overly supportive friends that have blinded you to the fact of how gruesome you really are. So today I’m going to give you some of these hints your mirror and your peers have failed to give you.

If you’ve ever been describe to the opposite sex with a statement starting with “She’s a really nice girl/He’s a really good dude” before they say anything about your looks you might be ugly (When trying to sell a ugly person to an unsuspecting fool you always start with the strong personality traits)

If you’re the designated purse and coat watcher in the club when your girl(s) hit the dance floor or the bar you might be ugly (They know good damn well nobody wants to dance with you and nobody will be buying you a drink at the bar)

If you ever ask one of your friends of the opposite sex why nothing ever kicked off between you two and they reply “I’ve always looked at you like a brother/sister” you might be ugly (especially if ya’ll ain’t that close)

If your friends never choose you as the wing man you might be ugly (taking you to play wingman is equal to throwing a drink in your own face her friend don’t want your ugly ass)

If grown-ups never look you directly in the eye but little kids always stare (and sometimes point) you might be ugly

If your female friends have never tried to hook you up you might be ugly (because we all know how much women love to hook somebody up)

If you never have a date to major events like weddings, dinner parties, and New Years Eve events you might be ugly (Who wants to bring in a new year with your ugly ass?)

If you fit in 1 or more these 7 take a long look in the mirror and re-assess yourself

Jean DeGrate has spoken

Why You Attract Ain’t Shit Niggas

Off top 50% of the “Ain’t Shit Niggas” you meet/deal with are only ain’t shit niggas to you and your kind. You ever run across one of them dudes that you had dealings with to find out he’s now settled down being a stand up guy and think “damn he has grown up”. Nah he didn’t grow he just met a woman that A. wasn’t go for that dumb shit and B. she was worthy in his eyes of him acting like a decent human being.

You’re Green

If you meet a dude on Sunday and he has a toothbrush, a towel, a drawer of his own and a spare key to your place by Friday; yeah you’re GREEN. If you hand damn near any dude the world before you know his last name he will fuck you over plan and simple.

You’re Miss I don’t do this or never done that and go back on it effortlessly

Girls sell this shit all the time that “It’s something about you and I don’t know what it is that got me swallowing your kids in the back seat of this 98 Grand Am in the parking lot of Dave & Buster’s I’ve never done anything like this before” And when you say this its one thing running across our mind, well one thing besides the obvious, “Yeah right tell me anything”. From that moment on we write you off as a hoe and treat you accordingly. Yep ain’t no coming back from that.

You got 2 or more kids

The only dudes that really can dig a chick with two or more kids have two or more kids of his own. Correction the only dudes that really can dig a chick with two or more kids has two or more kids and takes care of them. It’s hard enough for a dude to commit to chick with no kids but to commit to her and her two children is a real tall order.

You live in the club

You might be a stand up girl (or you might not be the perception is still the same) but you just always end up at the club with your girls. Dudes don’t see it that way they see the party girl and the party girl is a hoe in every man’s mind. Walking in the house at 4am every weekend hair sweated out smelling like Patron and IHOP is not a good look.

You’re going for that dumb shit

Guys will always try his hand to see what he can get away with. Can he get you to come over without ever going on a real date? Can he get you to meet up with him after the club? Can he get you to wait for the plumber while he goes paintballing with the homies? Can he get you to come pick him up from the strip club at 1am on a Wednesday because he drank too much for third time this month? The more dumb shit you’re going for the worst he will treat you.

You’re an ugly bitch (not saying that you’re actually a bitch but ugly bitch just gets the point across so much better than saying unattractive female you may be a very nice and educated unattractive woman)

Ain’t shit niggas prey on ugly bitches like bad ass white kids with magnifying glasses prey on ant hills. It’s like a law of nature they see you then assume you can’t do any better so that makes you a prime candidate to get fucked over. “She ugly so she ain’t gonna leave me”.

Some of this might be dead on and some of it may not then you got that Katt Williams syndrome ‘your pussy just attract ain’t shit niggas’; sorry no cure for that.

Jean DeGrate has spoken

4 Things He Cares About if He Cares About You

It’s certain things that might not seem obvious to you females but it’s what really matter to a dude that’s legitimately interested in you.

Your sexually history

In this instance we have to think of women like cars and everybody would love to have a brand new car. It’s just a special feeling knowing you are the first person to be behind that wheel but 97.5% of the time it won’t work out that way. So you want a car with one owner and or low miles. So when a dude is starting to get into a female he will want to know how many dudes she’s been with. No guy wants to make a hoe into a housewife. “She got that rental car pussy everybody done drove that.”

How you dress

It’s a known fact a dude will walk out the club holding hands with a chick wearing a rainbow colored cat suit, a Santa Claus hat and leopard print limited edition Uggs just because she had a body that wouldn’t stop and was down to roll. Now they don’t have a future much longer than the time it will take for the liquor to wear off. Men accept certain women in his life to be horribly and/or whorishly dressed we often refer to those women as jump-offs and sideline chicks. If he really cares about you he’ll consider you a representation of him and will want you to look accordingly.

How your mother looks

Seeing your girl’s mother is like a peek into the future. It answers all those questions like... “Will her titties hit belt buckle after that first kid?” or “Does that little pooch she got now turn in to a full grown beer belly later?” If he has no interest in knowing what the lady that made you looks like he has no interest in you long term.

The way you keep your home

If a man really likes you he cares if you’re a lazy ass dirty bitch. It’s just something about a filthy woman that drives any grown man insane that goes all the way back to the days when women stayed at home cooking and cleaning. It’s nothing worst than having to shake your clothes for roaches after a visit to Ms Right Now.

If none of these seem to be on his priority list then your future together is bleak

Jean DeGrate has spoken