Monday, December 29, 2014

6 things to STOP doing for the 2015

I know I haven't been cranking out the blogs over the last few months because I've been super busy. I'm going to do better in the new year and I mean I'm really going to do it not in that "in the new year I'm going to be in the gym" kinda way.

But here's a list blog because everyone loves a list blog...

1. Stop taking pictures of receipts and posting them on the web

We get it you buy shit. Dinners, clothing, shoes and all types of other dope shit. We don’t need the proof that you bought your dinner. We don’t care how much you dropped at the mall today.

2. Stop posting all your massive coupon gains

Yeah it’s cool if you got a 65 inch Samsung 4k TV for a 1000. Please post that shit and post all the info of how you acquired it at such a dope price. Now if you obsessively sorted and collected coupons to buy 3 shopping carts full of dishwashing liquid for an average of 26 cents a bottle nobody gives a fuck excluding other manic couponers.

3. Stop dressing your little boys like the 4th member of the Migos

No explanation needed.

4. Stop making public record of your hoeness

Ladies if you’re going through “baes” like bundles of weave you might want hold off professing your new found love until you get a season change or two under your belt. Trust me posting pictures and the details about your latest bi-monthly HIM with only make you seem kinda hoey. You might be deleting your hoeness in your mind but Facebook and Instagram are keeping track. Kim we know you’ve got at least 5 new bodies in 2014.

5. Stop giving credit for shit that doesn’t cost anything

Let me elaborate on that right quick… You posted 10 selfies this morning and your new boo likes all 10 within a minute of you posting them then you praised him for it. No. Stop that shit. You shouldn’t receive praise for double tapping a picture on your screen of your cellphone with your thumb.  The same goes with “Good Morning” text and clever use of emojis.

6. Stop being thirsty PUBLICLY

This goes out to mostly men but some of you women are thirsty as fuck too.  These days it’s so easy for your thirst to be exposed to the masses via the invention of the devil known as “the screenshot”. Every text, FB inbox, DM, G Talk and email can fall victim to “the screenshot” releasing all the creep shit you’ve said in confidence to social media. I don’t personally know the scorn of having “Girl I want to eat your ass for Sunday dinner” posted on twitter but I’ve seen it and cried from laughter. Exposing thirst has sent many into social media exile and with that said why would you want to say some wild shit out in the open for the world to see? You really want to be the guy to openly say “Inbox me if you want me to buy your rent and eat your pussy”?

Jean DeGrate has spoken

Monday, August 18, 2014

4 More Things Men should be Telling Women but We Don’t

From 5:22am to about 6:05am this morning I spent sitting on the floor in my bedroom digging out shoe boxes looking for a pair of shoes that I donated to charity 3 years ago. Welp. During this fruitless search I discovered the book “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” snuggled between 2 pairs of shoes I forgot existed covered in a lifetime’s worth of dust. I don’t read Harry Potter nor do I know anybody that publicly admits to reading Harry Potter that has been through puberty in the last decade. “Oh yeah a woman must have left it here” and in the trash it went and this brings me to my first point…

Take EVERYTHING with you when you leave

In my dream bachelor pad before entering the main living quarters you have to go through a security check point where females will be ask to disrobe by TSA agents and all their clothing and personal belongs will be put into a storage locker. Afterwards they will be handed one of those “Orange is the New Black” jumpsuits and their cell phone then be allowed entry. We can dream, can’t we? Because nothing like that will ever remotely fly. I don’t know if it is intentionally, unintentionally or subconsciously, but women always leave something. You know you walked in here with 2 earrings on and this $3 bottle of Moscato; please take that shit with you.

We Want to Break Up

Excluding the big end all be all argument that will have you sitting Indian style on the living room floor divvying up DVDs while trying to figure out who really has the right to take “The Five Heartbeats” on Blu-ray when they leave; every man I know wanted to break up with his girl way before he actually did it (or forced her to do it for him). We men are cowards in the break up department. You want to know why men don’t like settling down. One of the main factors is because we dread breaking up. Getting to all the reasons why is an entirely different blog in itself just know he’s been laying beside you for 70 straight mornings thinking “How the fuck can I get out of this smoothly”.

Shut Up

Time and time again I’ve found myself on the receiving end of some pointless gossip story about people I’m only familiar with via other pointless gossip stories. I think it’s part of the sex contract that you have to listen to these stories if you’ve seen her naked more than 4 times. “Remember when I told you about Kesha that got pregnant by her cousin’s baby father but she ain’t know it was her cousin’s baby father because they never met so when she found out she had an abortion?” (Side note – Are they still making new Keshas? I haven’t come across a Kesha born after 89 like ever in life. I think they discontinued that name.) “Well now she’s full on dating the cousin’s baby father. They are on Instagram posting selfies together. Look at this picture. She had the audacity to caption it “the heart wants what the heart wants”. These hoes ain’t loyal.” In reply we say “Oh my god, that’s crazy.” But our souls are screaming “Shut up don’t nobody care about that shit.”

This ain’t going to work

We as in men often come across women we’ve loved to see naked but know that we can’t actually turn that relationship into anything significant. Everything about them goes against the grain of everything that makes us, us. She’s a vegan, gym rat, tree hugger, that drives a Prius and does volunteer work on the weekends and you on the other hand drive a 92 Bronco that gets 4 miles to the gallon highway and your dream weekend includes binge watching Netflix in your underwear. Instead of shutting it down right then and there we drag it out hurt some feelings while we attempt to play in a lane that is clearly not our own.

Jean DeGrate has spoken

Thursday, May 29, 2014

So about last night…

*There is no funny in this blog so if you’re looking for jokes please go to the previous blog*

This isn't my lane so I didn't want to write this shit. After all my child is fine, but it was still sitting heavy on my heart when I woke up this morning. I had to say something and get it off my chest.

It was about 12:30am last night. I was fresh off hitting the jump rope to close out my workout. Kwesi and I had just begun our routine post workout conversation about random shit. Along comes this lady strolling down Southern avenue carrying a little girl that might have been somewhere between the ages of 2-4 . The woman herself appeared to about 35, but these days you can’t really tell because black does crack now. Her dress and demeanor reflected a much younger women; I mean she did have them J’s on. As she got within earshot of us she asked did either one of us have a phone she could use because her phone had died. I cleared the Tabata timer and shifted to the phone key pad then handed her my phone. My normal ain’t shit attitude was put aside by the sight of a toddler being paraded around after midnight. The normal scumbag in me would have told her “keep it pushing” without that child draped over her shoulder. In the midst of trying to remember the number she wanted to dial I asked her where she was headed. She replies “I've got a friend that lives somewhere around here” as if she had never been there before “I was on the phone with him when my phone died.” She pulled her iPhone from her pocket and attempted to power it on to no avail. She dialed a number and spoke briefly with a person that I could only assume was not “the friend”. She handed my phone back and said “I can’t get back in touch with him I’m just going to get back on the bus and head home”. Strolled back up the block from the direction she had come, whilst struggling to hold the toddler that seemed to be getting heavier by the second.

I resumed my conversation with Kwesi and mid-sentence it hit me, I was overcome with rage and sadness at the same time, she was out here trying to get some dick. She took her child out of her bed in the dead of night by the way of Metro to go a fuck a guy she didn't even know the exact address. In my head I could see the vicious circle that her child would be tossed into. I can’t predict the future of the little girl but I know the odds and I’m secure enough in my knowledge to put a wager on the outcome. She would undoubtedly inherit these traits from her mom so when she started dealing with men this type of behavior would be deemed acceptable. Then I felt powerless. It was nothing I could do for this little girl. I couldn't show her the light and steer her away from the path of her mom.

Yeah that’s it.

Ladies raise your daughters by not only telling them to do right but showing them to do right by your actions. They are watching and learning from you. You’re her role model even if you don’t know it, and even if she doesn't act like it at times.

Jean DeGrate is still saddened

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

5 Signs He Might Be Leech

I dropped the gold digger blog so men would be all the way up on game. You’re welcome by the way, but it’s no secret most of my readers are women so it’s only right I do the same for them. Men aren’t traditionally gold diggers in the same sense that women are. Where a woman can legitimately make a career out of being a “bad bitch” (i.e. Draya); the cards tend not to fall so favorably for men. Most of us men folk will probably never be in the position to have a chick buying us cars, paying our bills and whisking us away on lavish trips just to sit around and look pretty, especially not a regular 9 to 5 working woman. Men have to settle for mooching off of the fairer sex; a pair of Jordan’s here and there, daytime usage of the car and couple of bucks from her tax return to put towards the re-up. Well anyway on with the signs...

1. He bums from strangers

Independent men have this level of pride that almost forbids them from asking a stranger for anything outside of the time and directions. Going any further than that the situation has to be dire. Independent men will ride around a 6 block radius for 45 minutes looking for an address before pulling over to ask for directions. Now a leech on the other hand has no problem asking anybody for just about anything. “You got a cigarette?”  “You got 35 cents?” “Can I use your cellphone?” These are tell-tell signs that will automatically let you know he’s comfortable in his dependency on other and will have no problem fully exploiting you and your resources.

2. He blames others for his position in life

He’s stuck in a dead end job because of a charge he caught for some shit he didn’t do in 2001. He can’t get his debt down because his baby’s mother is a vindictive bitch who's out to get all his money since he decided he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. He can’t get a promotion because he was late twice 6 months ago and his boss won’t let that shit slide. He can’t do this and he’s stuck with that for any reason other than his own. The world is against him and if you give him a chance he’ll make you his crutch to get out of the whole he dug himself or pull you into it. This is the type of guy that will get you to co-sign on a car then conveniently forget to pay the note after 7 months.

3. He’s a petty criminal

He sells a little bit of weed and by a little bit I mean "maybe 3 dimes on a Friday night” little bit of weed to support his own habit. He’ll shoplift while shopping in an “I forgot that case of water was under the grocery cart” kind of way or I’m not going to pay for this 3 pack of T-shirts from Target because I only need one. He steals plastic silverware from Chipotle and straws from Chic-Fil-A. That level of pettiness is a red flag saying “I’m comfortable with taking advantage of situations where I see fit and I’ll always find a way to justify my behavior". When he uses up all your laundry detergent his excuse will be he washed some of your clothes too. When he brings your car back on empty it will be because he was running your errands when he was out.

4. He mainly dates fat women but he’s not fat

Before you roll into that some guys like fat women speech, I know some guys prefer larger women but that’s a small percentage of guys. I also mean fat camp spanx can’t hide this fat, run 40 feet and have a heart attack fat; not that I could stand to lose 15 to 30lbs fat. Fat women that fit into those aforementioned categories tend to take care of men. She’ll buy you a cell phone and add you to her plan.  She’ll not only stand in line for the new Jordan’s she’ll buy you and your son a pair. Fat women aim to please and a leech will forego having sex with the lights on for a woman that will hold him down with her wallet.

5. He does poor people shit

His cable is in his mother’s name because he owes Comcast $50 bucks from 2008. He takes change from the “take a penny leave a penny” tray at 7-11 even when he already has the change.  He splits cigarettes with people. “Let me hit that short.” He’ll put regular gas (87 octane) in the car when the owner’s manual clearly calls for premium.  “The car don’t ride no different on 93.” He’ll push the limits on how far he can ride with the gas light on. “The gas light just came on I can make it there and back.” He mixes the hand soap in his bathroom with water.  Instead of paying his parking tickets he’ll go above and beyond to find off the street parking to avoid a boot. “I know a spot we can park it’s like 7 blocks down the street but we can use the exercise anyway.”

Honorable mention:  He’s a dead beat daddy

It’s really simple math here if a man won’t take care of his seed he’ll most definitely not take care of you. He’s already taking food off the table for his kids and clothes off their back to look fly, buy drinks at the bar and date you. When he has your heart the cycle of taking will continue with you.

Be on the lookout ladies he’ll eat all your babies’ fruit snacks and run up your cable bill with on-demand charges
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

5 Signs She Might be a Gold Digger

It’s always the blatantly obvious signs she’s out for money; you know the she won’t call herself a gold digger but she ain’t fucking with a broke nigga type of woman. Her life style far exceeds her income. She’s a model but doesn’t really do any modeling: she just posts sexy pictures or the net for the world to see and takes selfies with every semi-celeb to ever grace her zip code. Here are the signs that aren’t so evident…


1. She admits she wants to be spoiled

“I want to be spoiled” is always code for “You got money right.” She will automatically rolling into a speech that goes something like this… “I want to be spoiled and I’m going to spoil my man in return.” This translates into “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you but you will be buying me nice things. Pay my rent and you’ll get head on demand.” Most importantly this almost never means “I’m going to spend my money on you if you’re spending your money on me” because it’s a man’s job to set the cash out on his lady.


2. Nice clothes, nice car, and nice purses but always crying broke

She wears high end jeans, carries designer purses and her car has leather interior and wood grain with a push to start ignition. You would think this young lady is doing ok for herself but let her talk about her financial woes so you will know what’s really the deal. She raising kid(s) on her own, they’ve raise the rent twice in last 18 months, and her job isn’t paying enough. If you let her tell she’s barely keeping her head above water but she’s going to Miami for Memorial Day weekend and she can’t wait to go shopping for her trip. She’s looking for a hero. Don’t be her hero. Don’t save her.


3. Pretty girl ugly kid

She’s a very pretty girl; pretty like Lisa from “Saved by the Bell” (not to be confused with the last few years of existence Lark Voorhies) and you can clearly tell that’s she always been pretty. She’s not one of these new era makeup caked on beauties; nope she the real thing, she woke up like this. Now her kid on the other hand looks like a lot like Gucci Mane, but that’s because she let some ugly paid nigga like Gucci Mane hit it raw. That treasure troll looking child is just the result of her love of money and the finer things in life.


4. Her dating criteria doesn’t correlate with her actual life

She only wants to date guys that make at 70k and up but she only makes 35k on her day job. She only dates guys without kids but she owns two fuck trophies. She only dates guys that live alone but she still lives with her grandma. She only dates guys with “real” careers but she’s working desk security in a downtown office building. None of her wants in her man line up with her current situation and that’s always a clear sign that she’s looking for a sponsor over a partner.


5. She posts pictures from dinner dates that never include her date

She’s love to post pictures of the menu and her meal from the top spots she eats at, but her date never makes the post. Sure if it’s her and the girls they’ll flood your timeline with 1000 selfies (but those hoes eating at Friday’s on their own dime). When the real money is spent the poor sap footing the bill at Morton’s doesn’t get any acknowledgement. Her intent is to prove that’s she fancy and accustom to the best even if the check is being handled by someone else. After all she deserves it, right?

These hoes will put a pick ax in your back if you let them
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Sunday, May 4, 2014

The Logic Behind Nude Picture Request

I got 1000 female homies and it just blows their entire day when a guy that barely knows them let alone barely ever had a full conversation with yet requests a nude pic. "Why do ya'll do that?" "What makes him think I'm going to send him a pic? I don't even know him." "I'm just going to delete him out of my contacts." I find myself often sorting out the reasoning behind this request so instead of rolling out this speech once  a month I'm going to put it on paper for once and for all. You're welcome.

For a dude the dating goal is sex, which is why 9 out 10 times when a guy walks up on you in the snack isle of Target, buys you a round at happy hour, or slides in your DM's, that's his motive and he's almost certainly not thinking about how great of a person you probably are. Believe it or not all the interest in you as a person is all a side effect of trying to fuck you. So being that the primary interest is in getting you naked you need to embrace this concept because it is the truth.

What you really look like
You hoes (and I mean hoes in the nicest fucking way) have more tricks than a magic convention hosted by David Blaine. That was a kind of lame analogy but I'm rusty with this blogging shit and the way my backspace button is set up is... Anyway sue me. I told you all the story about how body shapers are the devil (if you haven't read it google it, if I was net savvy I'd link it but I'm not it takes me a year to change my avi on Twitter), so please believe this in a real concern. Aside for those team natural women that believe in keeping everything factory (which tends to backfire more times than not) you women are overall shady with what you actually look like. You peoeple actually take pride in the quality of your purchased hair; as much as I claim to understand women I still can't wrap my head around that concept. So with the fake hair, eyebrows, eye lashes, makeup, push up bras, booty pops, body shapers, waist trainers, body wraps, Instagram filters and whatever other gadgets you clever hoes have cooked up since I started writing this blog 10 minutes ago (I know you are working around the clock on this shit) to fool men into thinking you're better looking than you really are. Receiving a nude really clears up some of the confusion between who you are and who you were pretending to be at happy hour two Wednesdays ago. You know because that water bra made you a full C cup when you're barely a B.

Thinning the herd
Guys date in high numbers whenever possible (think of it like playing multiple numbers for the power ball). You want to know why niggas raise a fuss about $200 dates? If you actually date 6 different women in a 4 week span that is $1200; let me translate that into womanese that's 3 2013 Honda Accord car notes. God's honest truth 47 out of 50 women that are asked for nude pic pre-sex/pre-date are going to say "fuck no" or some variation of that phrase. From that moment she'll either write him off immediately or stick around and go into this "why would you ask me to send you something like that". If she takes the latter route she is legitimately interested so that's a win and if she takes the former that's a win too because no date money was spent and the bullshit pre-sex good morning text messages can stop.

You about that action
The pre-sex/pre-date nude... nigga... nigga... nigga. As sacrilegious as this may sound but LOOK AT GOD. I've legitimately once hopped up off the couch and did the running man for 3 minutes straight after receiving the holy grail of nudes (pre-sex/pre-date nude for those who are not following the theme). It is the bees' knees. It's confirms so many things but none more important than she is about that action. This is half the battle; all you can do as a man from this point is fuck this pussy up for yourself. It's like an 85% chance that she's a hoe but whatever, men love easy women.

Yeah that's it nothing else to it
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Top 5 Reasons Why I'm Still On FaceBook

I'm only active on two social networks; Twitter and FB. Despite the fact that 75% of my FaceBook friends are complete fucking strangers and out of the remaining 25% that I actually do know 90% of them I wouldn't acknowledge in the streets; I still logon every single day. This is why...

1. FaceBook is a mixture of everything
I'm not on Vine or Instagram or whatever new website that's all the hype for the cool kids these days but the highlights always end up on my timeline. I get the best of everything, currents events and news included, (and some of the worst too) without having to track it down. FaceBook gave me full coverage of the Troy Davis appeal and ratchet WorldStar fight videos. It's literally a one stop shop with commentary from people you vaguely know. Plus you know lightskin Keisha, Lil Dink's 3rd baby mother, is extra opinionated on everything from politics to the love between Beyonce and Jay-Z.

2. I like to watch your life from a far
Like I stated earlier I don't know most of my FB friends but it doesn't stop me from tuning in on their life with status update to picture uploads to status update. Some of you are out here flourishing, getting out your dreams, accomplishing fitness goals and jet setting all over the world. I see ya'll shining. Others aren't enjoying such fruitful lifestyles but it isn't any less entertaining. We got Kim who's a baby mother to 3 different niggas waiting for God to send her a man. That girl crazy. We got Greg that's off his religious and self betterment status updates every morning but come 5p he's share pictures from the "She Got Ass" fan page. Between all that we got women dropping thirst traps, people still worried about haters and get rich schemes. I wonder once going to replace last year's body wrap scheme?

3. Getting these blogs out
Even though I have a decent amount of subscribers to my blog on FB I reach a lot more people even if it's a one off readers. I share a post and homie shares and then their homies shares it and so on and so forth. I can't beat the exposure nor the commentary that comes from the countless FB groups I get invited too because I posted something that rubbed a few people wrong.

4. I like to start shit
If you read any more than 3 of my status updates you know I'm a fire starter. It's legitimately hard to believe that I still haven't been deleted by most of you. Even when I read my shit sometimes I think "This guy's a fucking asshole" but you're still here encouraging me to continue not being shit.

5. The women
My hooking up days are behind me. I left that shit when I left MySpace and the series Catfish solidify my retirement so don't expect me to be dropping any sweet nothings in your inbox ladies. I'm here for these pictures. When ya'll are talking about last night's episode of Scandal, the latest Beyonce song or why Gabriel Union should leave D Wade; I'm in those pictures. I'm reading the thirsty comments and laughing. I'm tracking down the pictures without filters or the great angles that find your flaws. I'm just looking to be looking it's by far my favorite past time.

I still haven't fallen out of love with FaceBook
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

At 25 You Should...

When I was approaching 25 I didn't have a jazzy checklist of shit to have accomplished by the time I hit the mid point of my 20's. I just wanted to drive a luxury whip and have a real job with dependable income (oh yeah and stay out of jail in my era they were dropping that "dead or in jail line" real heavy). Mission Accomplished. In retrospect it should have been a few more things on the list but this blog isn't about me it's about you young people so on with the list...

As a young lady at 25 you should no longer be dating an aspiring rapper
Bae spits that hot fire. He's killing the open mic scene. All his YouTube videos got at least 3000 views. He's got 6000+ twitter and Instagram followers but he's a cashier at Big Lots and he is still sleeping in the same room he was sleeping in when he was a 7th grader. You got to jump ship boo because he's dreams of being a rap star probably won't ever materialize into a down payment on that single family home in the suburbs let alone gold and platinum records.

At 25 you should be done taking coon pictures
You and your crew in the club photo booth throwing up the middle finger, you guys are real trendsetters. Who exactly are you flipping the bird too? The camera man? Anybody looking at the picture? Cut that monkey shit out. Keep your wads of money in your pocket. Don't poke your ass at towards the camera. Keep your guns on other illegal paraphernalia off Instagram, FB and Twitter (the feds are really watching no 2Chainz).

At 25 you should be done collecting empty liquor bottles
Who are you impressing with those 17 empty bottles of Red Berry Ciroc sitting on your kitchen counter? You could be do something so much more productive with that space besides trying to prove that you've consumed a lot of rapper approved vodka. "Girl I went to see Dre last night and he had endless empty Patron bottles on top of his fridge. I know he be getting it in, I'mma give him some pussy." - No Grown Woman EVER

At 25 (barring you're not a full time student) you should have a real fucking job
I'm sure the discount at DTLR is love and you don't have to wait in line for Jordans anymore. All that is dope, but if any of your co-workers have can't take phone calls after 11p and have bedtimes you're not working a real job. Your real job should offer things like medical, 401k and a starting hourly pay at least 3 dollars above whatever hourly minimum wage is.

At 25 you should be done living beyond your means
Saying things like "I only got 50 to hold me over to payday" is not an indication that you're poor but it's definitely says you're not managing your money well. The living check to check and stockpiling credit card debt days should behind you barring any unseen financial crisis. Know your wage and act accordingly.

Because at 25 you should just know better
Jean DeGrate has spoken

Monday, January 27, 2014

How The BLACK Dating Game Really Got Fucked Up

Trust me our white and Latino counterparts aren't experiencing such woes. Things like community pussy, body counts and 200 dollar date isn't stopping their love lives from flourishing.

The thirst, simping, the professional daters, and the screen shot. Yeah, that just about sums it up; blog over. Class dismissed.

Did you want some clarification with that?

Oh, you did?

Cool, I got you.

Once upon a time not long ago when people worn pajamas and lived life slow it was pretty clear cut when a boy liked a girl and vice versa. It was a time when you could actually display your interest in your crush and if she was feeling you it was reciprocated, but if she wasn't she'd let you know then you'd fade into the background. Can it be that it was all so simple then?

The Thirst
See "The Thirst" has always existed but the thirst card wouldn't get pulled until you kept trying your hand after rejection. Today if you say "hi" to a woman twice in an 8 hour span nigga you thirsty. Like 10 pictures on IG? Thirsty. Sent 4 text messages without get a response back? Thirsty and that might just get him a screenshot to her girlfriend captioned "look at this thirsty ass nigga". Call on the same day you got her number? Thirsty. Sent a "Good morning" text? That's cool. Sent a "Good morning" text and used more than one emoji/smiley face? He just might be thirstiest nigga on earth and he's probably a stalker. The entire labeling of thirst is out of control and men go out of the way not to be labeled as such. He's oh so cool and oh so laid back and nothing really excites him about you? That's because he's scared to show any emotion and interest then end up getting called thirsty.

The secret friend zone enforcer AKA the professional dater
A lot of men find themselves in the "secret friend zone" where they've been out on 5+ dates and still get church hugs to begin and end the night. Its women out here getting nights on the town, free meals and gifts whilst toying with the affections of men they have no interest in. This shit right here is one of the main factors in the decline of traditional courtship. This shit right here is the reason why a guy will hit you with a "Slide thru" text over a "Can I take you out tonight?" text. This shit right here distorts the line between legitimate interest and a bitch in search of a free meal.

Simping - the act of saving hoes by spending cash; catering to the wants/needs of females in hopes of getting sex in return and/or buying affections

It's a thin line between simping and being a standup dude, especially these days, making it harder and harder to tell if you're doing the right thing or the simp thing. With that being said it makes it so much easier for a guy to be pseudo asshole than being genuine to his feelings. Sending flowers to a girl without a title, simping or being a romantic? The survey will probably say simping and depending on the interest level of the girl receiving the flowers she'll probably say simping and stick you in the secret friend zone. Dropping of lunch to the girl you're interested on her lunch break? Yep, its simping and she'll Instagram a picture of the food and leave you out of the caption "Lunch from Outback because sometimes I just need a steak". Going all out to win the affections of the girl you're interested (within reason) will probably end with your contact info on the block listed and her referring you as a stalker.

The screen shot
Technology has bought us several things to marvel at and several things to fear but nothing is more terrifying than getting beat down posted on WorldStar but that's immediately followed by an incriminating screen shot. I just felt a chill go down my spine just thinking about that shit. Most people don't keep as 100 as they pretend to. Right now some so called pimp player nigga is all up in some random girl text messages telling her how he can eat her ass like no other man can and make her left leg shake if she'd only would give him a chance. Of course he doesn't want any of this shared and neither does girl showing her inner hoe in some guys DM's. One can only hope that all the out of pocket shit said via electronic messaging never comes back to haunt them or worst Twitter gets a hold of it.  With that kind of pressure it's hard to find a cool and clever way to say "what that thang do" and avoid coming off like a clown. Some things will just be left off the table in fear of being exposed.

Yeah, the dating game ain't what it used to be
Jean DeGrate has spoken