Sunday, December 6, 2015

Why MOST Men under 30 Low Key Suck At Courting

Well high key suck actually

Court – to be involved romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.

You know building a life together and shit.

Now young men folk are great at dating; the MVP’s of that shit. Nobody can send good morning text messages with several emojis like these late 80’s and earlier 90’s babies. Nobody can slide into those DM’s like these social media savvy guys. Nobody can fake listen and act like we are legitimately interested in the shit that fascinates you like these dudes that post 5 selfies on IG a week. Nobody is more in the know of the new hot spots, bars and lounges than these vape pen carrying hookah smoking hipsters. Nope. When it comes to dating they are undefeated.

Now for all that courting shit, men on the underside of 30 stay fucking that up and here’s why…

He ain’t got no type
Bad bitches are the only things that he likes. As many times as I say a female’s dating criteria is written in pencil a man under 30 dating criteria doesn’t actually exist. You don’t believe me? Ask the guy you’re casually dating what he likes about you and prep yourself for an awkward pause followed by several generic accolades i.e. “You’re cool as shit”. Most of us men have a “No” list, like “no I won’t date her if she has 5 kids and 6 baby daddies” or “no I won’t date her if she’s homeless”. I might be down playing the vagueness of the “No” list but all men have one and that shit is ageless. Now honestly these guys don’t have a type so if they find you attractive and you seem cool you’ve already reached 95% of the needed criteria. Add that in with the first goal being sex and getting into a fruitful relationship is a very distant second makes them optimal causal daters and piss poor at courting. Not having a type is terrible for long term dating because without some sort of set parameters they can’t even begin to gauge how a woman will fit into their lives. Conflicting philosophies, different religions, varying life goals and even unalike dietary practices are things that can be grazed over in causal dating but can be the basis for failure during genuine courtship. I mean just imagine if she goes to the grocery store any bring back a fridge full of vegan bacon, veggie burgers and soy milk, but your nutrition regiment requires something to die so you can live.

It’s really all for you
And “for you” I mean for women. Chivalry is dead. Equality and women that don’t say thank you when you give them your seat on the subway killed that, but men are very much still in the business of pleasing women, all women; it’s almost instinctual. That guy that held the door for you at the mall on Black Friday even though you were 12 yards away from the entrance? He didn’t do that for you in particular; he did it for all women. That’s what he’s programmed to do. Yes, men are programmed to stand around holding open doors for random women. That’s not all, cologne, haircuts, clean clothes, the box office success of Twilight and Tyler Perry movies, Berry Ciroc sales and luxury automobiles are strictly for the benefit of women. Men are and always have been in the profession of trying to make women like them and turn it up as need be for the purpose of wooing without any long term goals.

Younger men are chameleons
Young men change with the trends of whatever women are into, but only during that phase in a man’s life before he starts buying clothes just not to be naked. Look up the hashtag #MCM on Instagram and every 3rd dude has a beard accompanied with some sort of fade haircut from the 90’s because that’s what women are into right now. Before this it was close cuts, goatees, wearing Beats headphones like an accessory and personality glasses. Before that it was dreds (my golden era). It’s a lot of men that pick up on these style cues and follow these favorable trends. He’s on his IG with his joggers, long t-shirt with zippers on the sides and Giuseppe’s looking like Future but 3 years ago he was wearing Jordan’s and premium denim. Our surface level sense of style and grooming aesthetic is up for modification to remain appealing to the fairer sex.

See the problem here is this…
While women often start planning out forever, marriage and kids without the presence of a possible suitor around the same age they start playing with Barbie; men don’t develop the emotional farsightedness to see further beyond seeing you naked until much later in life. Young men put so much effort into being the man for you (well, a man you’d potentially sleep with) they fail to see if you’re the women for them. They often wake up next to strangers they’ve dated for months. He’ll know the basics like your favorite restaurant and not to text or call during Love & Hip Hop but he doesn’t know if he really likes you as a person. Finding long term compatibility is a shot in the dark but she phat ass shit though and that will work for right now.

Dating All Stars and courtship novices
Jean DeGrate has spoken