I’m Guilty… I’ve hit a Few “Maybe Babies”

First of all, if you aren’t an avid reader, you should (1) stop loafing and subscribe, and (2) refer to category #4 of my “She’s Fine but Only in Her Mind” blog so you’re up on what exactly a “Maybe Baby” is. http://jeandegrate.blogspot.com/2011/01/she-fine-but-only-in-her-mind.html

Now before we get started, let me put it out there that I’ve never hit a flat-out busted bitch. (Well… at least she wasn’t busted at the time.) We all know that “the fall off” is an incurable illness; so what was fine yesterday isn’t guaranteed to be fine tomorrow. My shame comes for hitting these 4’s, 5’s, and shaky 6’s (as in she’s only a 6 on major occasions like weddings, proms, birthdays, etc).

Somehow, (and more often than I’d like to admit) I find myself crawling out of some pussy that I soon after regret. I immediately go to the bathroom, clean myself up, and then stare in the mirror for at least 5 to 10 minutes trying to figure out how the fuck I got to that point anyway. I guess this is how alcoholics feel when they fall off the wagon because I damn sure beat myself up over the entire ordeal soon after planning my exit (or hers). Normally, after the deed is done, I hit them with the meanest Dipset, partially out shame and partially because well… she was busted.

Liquor, boredom, club lights, subpar loose women, and overall just not having shit else better to do has been like kryptonite to my penis. Not that any of those reasons are valid excuses for dicking down Gorilla-looking bitches, but mediocre women pop up like slut magic when I’m at my weakest moments. Often chicks that are forced to sit in the non-smoker section (the “Must Haves” and the “Maybe Babies”) tend to be on-demand like Comcast digital cable. Whether I’m playing wingman or accepting random friend requests on FaceBook or allowing one of my homies to play matchmaker, 9 out of 10 times the situation ends with my dick inside a peculiar-looking chick. You know… the type you will have to hang your head low while copping to hitting that, talking about, “Yeah I did that, but she was so phat on FaceBook, and by the time she got to the house, I was already 4 shots into the 5th of 1800”. I got excuses for days for why I hit the unhittable; shit… sometimes I even convince myself.

I’m 8 months clean, but you know the saying “an idol mind is the devil’s playground.” Well, in my case, it’s a fluke chick’s window of opportunity. It’s 2011, so I’m going to stay focused, looking forward to my one year anniversary. Then after that, who knows… I might just fuck a busted bitch for charity. Well not really so mediocre women please don’t try your hand.

It should really some sort of busted bitch anonymous support group
Jean DeGrate has spoken