Tuesday, June 5, 2012

This Dot.Com Ratchetness is going to catch up with you

*** If you were a victim of a WorldStar beat down video this blog is not directed at you and I almost feel sorry for all the joy I’ve gotten out of watching those videos.***
 
No matter what day of the week you already know it’s some sort of freaky trending topic on Twitter accompanied with a picture. Christmas falls on a Tuesday this year and I’m willing to bet a grand that some woman somewhere on my timeline will have her breast out with a Santa hat on for Tittie Tuesdays. Yep that’s right the ratchetness doesn’t even take a day off for Jesus birthday, amen. What does this have to do with anything? Well I’m going to tell you now because all this foolishness will bite you in the ass eventually.
 
Some of ya’ll ain’t never going to be shit
It’s people out here that have absolutely no desire to be anything greater than they currently are and to those people I say “carry on with the dumb shit please”. Take those nude pictures, make those ass popping videos and just continue your overall ratchet existence. I mean I really need all of the things you do online to get me thru my workday, waiting in the DMV and sitting in gridlock traffic.
 
Jobs ain’t fucking with ya’ll
I’m sure being a flash light security guard at Rite-Aid or flipping burgers at Wendy’s doesn’t require any major background checks or any level of college education. I’m also sure they don’t give a flying fuck about what you post on FB, Twitter, Tumbler, IG or your own personal blog. Shit they might not think you have internet access at all, but rest assure the last thing they are worrying about is your character defaming their establishments. Now for all you people with real jobs or are applying for jobs that don’t require name tags and physical labor a quick Google search will fuck your career up. You’ll never get out of the mail room taking pictures of Grand Daddy Purp but now the boss knows you’re @LoudPackJames on Twitter so all employees have to take a random urine test. You fucked it up for everybody because you have to twitpic every jay before you smoke it.
 
You’re kids will eventually find out
My 4 year old has mastered the iPad like she was beta testing for Steve Jobs. She can navigate through Netflix, find apps to download and I know once her spelling game is a little better she’ll be Googling shit. One day in the near future this very blog might be getting the once over by my daughter or even worst, my Twitter timeline and I know I’ve said some less than wholesome shit. I guess when that day comes I’ll have some explaining to do but ain’t shit I did online I’m ashamed of. Now some of you other parents, I’m sure, you can’t say the same and the 6 degrees of separation is really about 4 degrees now with everybody online. So somebody that knows you knows somebody that’s knows somebody that knows your child and know your child knows you participate in tittie Tuesdays. What you going doing when your kid doesn’t want to you attend PTA meetings or pick him up from school because everybody in the 7th grade has seen your naked ass on FaceBook?
 
Your peers are judging you
Some of the people I follow on Twitter I wouldn’t want around my kid let alone in my house. I can’t be the only one that feels this way because I know the people that are making fun you subtweets and out in the open. So when you say shit like “Finna smoke then teach baby to ride his bike a lil better ”  by @X_simplyAMAZING, how can you really expect your peers to take you seriously. It’s not just Twitter because the shit you say people are taking it seriously. Not to mention if you’re public on Twitter all your tweets are being recorded by the Library of Congress so 40 years from now the future generation will look back on all the stupid shit you all had to say.
 
You’re extra ratchet online you should do a little thinking before you hit send
Jean DeGrate has spoken

1 comment:

  1. Jon Degrate, (idea) you should do a blog interview to show the ratchet chicks point of view. "Why I Shake My Ass On The Internet."

    ReplyDelete