Unfortunate Truths Part III

Because when it rains it pours and I’m back to rain on your parade with more unfortunate truths
 
If you have more than 2 kids you’ll probably never get married
If you didn’t know already it’s a mean double standard when it comes to kids out here. A guy with kids is sooooooooooooo much better off than a chick with kids no matter what the living situation. A guy with kids that don’t live with him = weekend daddy. A woman with kids that don’t live with her = ain’t shit bitch. A guy with kids that live with him = greatest dad ever. A woman with kids that live with her = a chick with baggage or a chick that always needs a baby sitter to do anything. I’m a single dad with a play kitchen and Barbie’s in my living room I’m winning out here. When a man commits to a woman with kids he’s also committing to those kids and possibly a crazy baby daddy or two. When a woman commits to a man with kids especially since most single fathers are weekend daddies anyway it’s not half as big of hurdle. Plus women love good fathers and you’re never heard a man say I’m looking for a woman with a gang of kids outside of tax season.
 
You’ve fallen off and you probably won’t get back up
It’s May so that means it’s almost time for you folks to start making these Miami and other beach ware friendly locale trips. You’ve been in the gym and counting calories and guess what? You’re not even half as fine as you used to be. Chances are if you were once in shape it was because you were skinny and young not because you were on any kind of healthy living kick and you won’t be getting that old thing back. I don’t give a fuck if Billy Blanks, the P90X guy, and Richard Simmons pulled you into the gym everyday. You’re body is doomed because your bustedness (I may have just invented that word) and laziness will almost always over power your will power to do right; those cheat days add up kid.
 
If you upgraded somebody’s life that you’re no longer with they won
I always see these FB statuses and tweets about how they put somebody on or stepped their lifestyle up. If you broke up with them they still won. If they broke up with you they won with bonus points. If they got caught cheating on you not only did they win they did give an enough of a fuck to stay on the gravy train. Chances are they are leaving the relationship with the exposure, experiences and the shit you bought them and you just got heart break. They won.
 
Just more fucked up truths for your ass son
Jean DeGrate has spoken