Please no more relationship advice

Thanks to the good people at FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram for giving every person with a smart phone and data plan a podium to spew their point of view all over the World Wide Web. Somehow every 3rd person that owns a vagina is some sort of relationship counselor. They should have never given you coons internet access (and right about now somebody is thinking “Hey JD, you’re the pot calling the kettle black” but give me a chance to elaborate). Now I see the women I’d like to refer as “relationship challenged” kicking out all this love advice like they got it all figured out. That prompted me to make this list so if you or anybody you know fits these criteria you might want to chill on kicking knowledge to the masses. (No matter how many likes you get on FB or retweets on Twitter; never forget ugly bitches get likes on their pics on Instagram everyday B.)
 
Please no more relationship advice if you have 2 or more kids with deadbeat fathers. You’re obviously not a good judge of character.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you ever let a nigga beat your ass and you still stuck around or you’re still cool with him. "Remember that time you smashed my head into the coffee table? Yeah, that was a wild night boo."
 
Please no more relationship advice if you’ve been hurt by one man too many now you’re part time dyking. Just go out and find the women of your dreams. On the bright side you’ll save a grip on condoms, birth control and tampons. Everybody wins.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you allowed a nigga to cheat on you.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you have 3 or more baby fathers. You haven’t mastered condom usage and that’s way simpler than making a relationship work.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you have been engaged more than twice but never married. Either you can’t close the deal or those dudes realized you aren’t all they thought you were.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you’ve been single (as in not even dating) for longer than a year. You’re not even in the game what the fuck do you know?
 
Please no more relationship advice if you’re ugly. Ugly people tend to let more shit slide. If you don’t know for sure if you’re ugly ask one of your homies what’s your strongest selling point to a member of the opposite sex. If they say some shit like your personality or sense of humor you’re ugly.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you’ve been known to clothe and feed your men like you could write them off on your taxes. You are buying your men and some guys will stick around if you’re simping. I.E. your man’s phone/car/cable is in your name you might be a female simp.
 
Please no more relationship advice if you’ve ever been or are currently a roller. You women with high mileage on that pussy aren’t to be taken seriously in the first place.
 
Read the list twice does any of this apply to you?
Jean DeGrate is asking you graciously to shut the fuck up