Thank You Coons

I’m taking this blog out to thank you coons for embarrassing yourselves and your families for the entertainment of strangers. I would say you’re embarrassing me as a black man but I throw no claim to you fools; I’m not Moses and you fools aren’t exactly the Israelites either.
 
WorldStar
Unfortunately one of my guilty pleasures is watching WorldStar videos my FaceBook friends repost. I’ve seen an African militia soldier hand a loaded AK-47 to a chimpanzee, a mom popping her pussy while her child yelled in the background “Eww, mommy you stink”, and my new favorite the video of the college kid getting the breaks beat off of him for a pair of olive green Foamposites. The kids from that video all got expelled from college and I’m sure they’ll be seeking employment in the fast food industry shortly but my homies and I died laughing at it so it’s all good, right? If it’s on WorldStar and it gets reposted it’s a 99% chance it’s something foolish that involves people of color AKA coons. They should have never given you niggas technology. I swear if something stupid or violent is about to go down those camera phones will be filming like you coons are freelance reporters for TMZ. If you hear “This is going on WorldStar” just drop whatever you’re doing and get the fuck from around there.
 
Coon Related Reality TV
I absolutely hate reality TV. Hate. Hate. Hate that shit, but even I had to hop off my high horse and watch the season opener of “Love and Hip Hop”. Between Jim Jones’ mother talking like she uses Drano for mouthwash and Jim Jones’ girl beating up Juelz Santana’s baby mother I was on the verge of adding that show to my DVR rotation, almost. Every time one of these reality shows focused on black people comes on the internet goes ape shit. I don’t even need to watch any of these shows just hop on Twitter or FaceBook around 9p on a Monday and every 3rd woman I’m friends with will be giving a play by play.
 
The Maury Show
If I’m ever at home in the middle of the day (which is almost never) I pray for a paternity test episode. It never gets old. The Negro paternity science always astounds me. “Him and Lil Dink have the exact same chipped tooth. Look at his tooth Ray-Ray, look at it. Maury, he needs to stop playing and start taking care of his son.” “Eh Maury, playa to playa she see me out this thing shining getting money; I only hit her like twice and came in her mouth every time. You can’t get pregnant by swallowing Maury. Now she coming out the blue trying to stick a kid on me dawg. You know that ain’t right playa. I know at least 3 other dudes around the way that hit that, and I’m daddy?. Run that test Maury read them results homie.” Maury is just sitting there holding that manila colored envelope and says “Ray-Ray… You are not the father” in that calm Maury tone. When that coon stands up and starts doing that “I’m not daddy dance” I rejoice along with him. I’m glad he won it’s not even about the kid to me. Yeah I know, I ain’t shit but it’s not like I’m the one on TV for not knowing who fathered my child.
 
Twitter
The home of Tittie Tuesday, Thong Thursday, Freaky Friday; well Twitter is pretty much down for some sort of female nudity every day of the week. I think it might even be a Heathen Sunday but I’m not sure, but anyway I sure do love me an e-slut they are the greatest. Why not expose your goodies via Twitpic for the chance to be retweeted into infamy? I may not know your name but those titties have appeared on my timeline 15 different times today alone; whether it was ridicule or praise, I’ll never forget them titties. Oh and it you didn’t know the internet is forever and somebody is cataloging all your dot.com whorish moments so we can all enjoy then at a later date. Thanks sweetheart.
 
Yes, you coons are very entertaining but at what cost to yourselves?
Jean DeGrate is just giving thanks