Young Chick vs. Old Chick

I once said that the only difference between a young chick and an old chick is more stuff. More experience, more baggage, more wrinkles and more mileage. Yeah it’s more to it than that, so let me put you up on what I’ve learned (a young chick 18 - 23 and the older chick 29 -34).

Women do mature faster than men (unfortunately that’s not only mentally) Women start falling off either after that first kid or around 24 that metabolism starts to slow down and the party nights of club cardio get farther and farther apart. So once those 30’s come around she already well into her decline (unless she got up off her ass and hit that gym or just good genetics) with an attitude that’s oblivious to the fact that her body has been involved in a losing battle with gravity and fast food. Somebody show this chick her senior class year book; advantage young chick.

She don’t really get what I’m saying
I’m quick to quote a movie or song to reference something I’m talking about right now i.e. “Yeah he went and got him an African chick like Eddie”. But I know damn well the young chick has never seen “Raw” shit she might not even know that Eddie Murphy ever did stand up comedy. She’ll nod her head maybe give me a charity chuckle then get quiet on me. If I bring up something I read in the Washington Post this morning or voice my opinion on how dumb that Euro currency move was, she won’t feel me or put up an argument telling me why my theory is flawed; instead she’ll smile and nod. The world economy don’t effect her she don’t have a 401k or an account with E-Trade; advantage old chick.

Her time with you is going to cost you
You could be funnier than Dave Chappelle with better conversation than Anderson Cooper, have all of her favorite drinks in the bar at your house, be a trained gourmet chef and you’d still have to take the old chick out then spend top dollar for the next 3 hours of her time. Her favorite food in the whole wide world could be the Jack Daniel Buffalo wings from TGI Friday’s but tonight since it’s on you, Ruth Chris is as good a place as any. Now on the other hand with the young chick if she thinks you’re cool ya’ll could go sit on the steps of Lincoln Memorial while skipping stones in the reflection pool as long as she’s having a good time she’s down for it; advantage young chick.

You ain’t showing her shit new
It very well may be easier to reinvent the wheel than it is to come up with something new to do with an old chick. Trust me she has seen everything eaten everything done everything and putting her on to something fresh is almost impossible unless she’s been trapped in a cave for the last 10 years. Not only that, you might try to hip the old chick on something and she might correct you then clown you for being wrong (silly little nigga trying to drop knowledge). With the young chick the world is new to her and you can play tour guide; advantage young chick.

She’s an exhibitionist
No movies, no dinner just 3 good phone conversations and that young chick will do a bathroom photo shoot just for you. If you were wondering what she looks like naked she’ll clear that right up for you way before you ever get around to undressing her in person. Yeah and all that sounds great but it doesn’t make you special Andre from 3rd street, Jake that used to take English Comp with her and Mike that gives her free coffee at Starbucks all got the same treatment. The older chick might send you a freaked out picture way after you’ve already smashed and they normally only focus on body parts she favors (probably because their entire package ain’t as tight as it used to be). Advantage old chick simply because if you get a picture it means something; you know the young ones love to sext.

She got her own
The chances of a young chick living on her own are slimmer than the Olson twins; trust it will be a Full House. You wanna come over sure why not? You’ll be stuck in the living room with her and Grandma watching Wheel of Fortune drinking a glass of thick red syrup they claim is Kool-Aid (instant diabetes). The old chick may or may not have some rug rats running around but by the time she put them to bed you’ll have privacy. Every other night mission doesn’t have to be at your house and if she got kids almost all of them will be at her house for sure; advantage old chick.

She’s tainted
Almost every chick got a “Somebody Done Done Me Wrong” song but the old chick got a “Somebody Done Done Me Wrong” song hit list. Oh they have been fucked over time and time again and as optimistic as she might seem she’s bitter deep down inside. You will feel some sort of heat for some dude that tap danced on her heart before you even knew she existed because something you just did reminded her of something he used to do. The young chick doesn’t have those issues, sure she might have been in a bad relationship or two but none of that will held against you; advantage young chick.

She lack substance
Sure everybody is cool and interesting off top because you don’t know them so everything about them is new to you. Once you get pass those first few weeks with the young chick you know where she went to school, her middle name, favorite color, movie and pastime. Now you pretty much out of shit to talk about, those long conversation’s you used to have are much shorter and instead of picking up the phone you normally opt to send a text. With the old chick if you got chemistry you got conversation it doesn’t matter if it’s one week, one month or one year later; advantage old chick.

Now before you old bitties and young chicks get all upset there are exceptions to every rule. Are you that exception? Probably not but there is the young chick with the old soul and the old chick that still thinks she’s 21; maybe she took that Jay-Z 30 is the new 20 statement and ran with it.

I’m sure I left a few things out expect a part 2
Jean DeGrate has spoken

See this and more at jeandegrate.blogspot.com