Things That Bother Me

When I hear busted bitches talking about they done with men:
Word, you done with men? Come on son, how many male suitors could you possibly have? Let me see a picture of the dude that did you wrong. Baby if you have finally decided to give up on men I’m sure all 6 of the dudes that were pushing up on you will just move on to the next busted chick. Everybody wins.

When girls have sick hips and thighs, but no ass at all:
I see you walking in my direction with them thighs looking like you used to run track or something with that small waist line. It’s a 90% chance that I won’t shoot my shot but it’s a 100% chance that once you walk pass me, I will look back only to get an eye full of all bad. It’s 2010 then can track down the genetic coding that gives you blue eyes but they can’t track down that flat ass gene and eradicate it?

Exposed raisin belly and/or muffin top
Ok you’ve pushed out a seed or two and now you’re stomach looks a tiger stripped elephant skin but you insist on wearing shirts to expose that mid-section to the world. Girl you know that shit ain’t good for anybody. What if I got weak stomach? Now you just being inconsiderate to the general public. The muffin top is a whole other monster; that leather-ish floatation device you keep unsuccessfully tucked under your ill-fitting clothing. Why must it be visible? You know that shit aint sexy and you know you dead wrong. A company made a shirt that is 4 inches longe,r to hide plumber butt, I’ll have to come with the shirt that’s 4 inches longer to hide the unsightly gut.

Andre 3000:
You’re album is like Dr. Dre’s “Detox “, but people actually believe yours is coming out and think it will be good. Sorry Dr. Dre, but nobody gives a fuck about that Detox album but you and the idiot writers for the music magazines that keep bringing this shit up. Ok now back to Mr. Benjamin. You’re not making movies and your clothing line flopped like a Lil Flip CD so what are you doing? We ain’t heard from since John Legend’s “Green light” so where is the CD? Big Boi is all over the place making straight to DVD movies, guest starring on crime dramas as the token black guy, selling pit bulls and doing guest features. All the while you are just sitting around in the house trying on bowties and doing Yoga or some other dumb shit. Give us a mixtape or something dude.

Dudes in super deep V-neck T-shirts:
I’m a bit conservative when it comes to depth of the V in the neck of my T-shirt; it’s pretty much a slight dip in the neck of my shirt. If I had a tattoo on my chest you’d never see i. I expose none of my chest period (but I’m also the dude that doesn’t wear tank tops at all). Now some folks might wear their V-necks a bit lower and if thats what you are feeling, well do you but some dudes take this shit off the deep end (pun intended). I don’t want to see your chest dude I don’t need to see you man cleavage and it’s very gay of you to unveil it to the world. Why would you want a shirt that shows the bottom of your chest and/or the top of your stomach? Nobody needs that much collar room.

The very thin line between fly and gay:
Once upon a time you could almost certainly tell if a dude was gay by what he was wearing. The guy in the small brightly colored T-shirt and tight stoned washed jeans could be easily classified as gay (or a rock star because all rock stars dressed like gays back in the day it was a rule in the record industry) it was a no brainer. That’s because no straight dude (or any dude pretending to be straight) would be seen walking the streets dressed like that. Now a dude can walk out the door wearing rocking purple air tight skinny jeans, a smedium T-shirt with a pair of multi-colored dunks and you wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what team he plays for (not that it’s anything wrong with that) but when the fuck did looking like a man go out of style.

This is why I do this shit... I think they call this venting - Drake “Fear”
Jean DeGrate has spoken