Why We Dip (Yep I’m guilty we includes me)

Ok so this morning I was on verysmartbrothas.com (VSB) reading “6 Hard to Master Skills Every Man Must Possess” and one of those skills was successfully breaking up with a woman because sometimes dudes just bounce. And by bounce I mean just dip and fall off the face of the earth we don’t accept your calls, texts, emails, twitter DM’s or smoke signals. So anyway The Champ of VSB put a link on the blog to another blog “Without a Trace” by an Ms Jamilah Lemieux giving the woman’s point of view after getting dipped on and I know it’s wrong but I was crying laughing but that shit was so real. So ladies and gentlemen this is why we dip...

We woke up not feeling like talking to you
This is an unexplained phenomenon among men some days we don’t feel like talking to certain people and today was your day and you didn’t do anything wrong. Now what you did after that initial phone call/text/email is what caused us to dip. Did you send several texts stating shit like “Are you ignoring me” or “Hello” or “Are you OK”? I especially hate the “Are you OK” text because if I’m not what the fuck are you going to do? Nothing at all; that’s what. Did you call several times back to back take a pause for a few hours they start that shit all over again? Did you write something on his FaceBook wall, check the time stamp of his last tweet and cross examine it with the time of your first call and/or send several emails to his job and personal email accounts? If so you just landed in the this bitch if crazy folder and would really like to call you back but we don’t feel like explaining ourselves to your crazy ass or coming up with some elaborate lie for why we’ve been ducking you and eventually you’ll stop calling so fuck it.

We were doing something when you called
It doesn’t matter if I’m shooting pool, watching “The Dark Knight” for 163rd time, having a heated debate we the dude that sits two cubicles over from me about how Kaiser Sosae (The Usual Suspects) was the best movie villain ever or whatever I was doing at the time that I considered more important than whatever you might have to say; I wasn’t picking up that phone. I really meant to call you back but it totally slipped my mind and that 1 day turned into 4 days then I look at my call log and say “oh shit”. But on the other hand she ain’t called me either so to avoid the awkwardness of trying to spark a conversation with a chick I normally speak to everyday and now I haven’t spoken to in a week I just won’t call. Yeah it’s really that simple.

You are super clingy or just doing too much
Real talk instead of saying “Shawty you doing too much” or “Shawty you stifling a nigga I can’t fucking breathe let me get some time to myself” we opt not to take your calls anymore. Instead of getting in an argument that will probably end up in us not talking anymore anyway we can end it here with the end button that the cell phones companies intended for us to use. Yeah it’s the sucker way out I guess, but should I really have to deal with the aggression of person I’m clearly not planning on knowing anymore?

You have excellent sex
You clearly are not the one for me by no stretch of the imagination can I see us being even remotely good for each other, but what you do to me in the bedroom will keep me coming back despite of my better judgment. Before I know it you’ll be pregnant, moving in, putting your cell phone in my name, opening a joint bank account and shopping for engagement rings all because what we do behind closed doors done made me lose my mind. So while I’m still of sound mind I’m going to run from your ass like the cops are chasing me and that includes not taking your calls or any kind of other contact.

Yeah I won’t be taking that call
Jean DeGrate has spoken