Monday, May 17, 2010

Questions Women Ask That I Hate

So what are we doing exactly?
This question normally comes up after about 2 to 3 weeks of chilling and by chilling I mean hanging out, dating and fucking. I know what we are doing and I assume she knows what we are doing too because she was there but instead of saying “Hey I’m trying to be your girlfriend so what’s up?” she’ll turn to me and ask “So what are we doing exactly?” Unfortunately the automatic response to “So what are we doing exactly?” is immediate stuck face 3 to 7 second pause then reply “We chilling”. I mean really what did you think I was going to say? Off that question alone I might just dip on your ass because you doing too much (refer to Why We Dip).

Be honest what do you think of me?
Chances are before she asked me that question I had never thought about it. Why? Because dudes don’t think about shit like that; it’s like this; she’s cool so we going to keep getting up with each other until a. she pisses me off b. I realize we got a ceiling or c. I get to digging her for real. Don’t force me to think about you outside of us having fun right now because it’s a strong chance I’ll see your faults in HD. So when you ask “Be honest what do you think of me?” just except that “You’re cool and fun to be around” response. I don’t even give up the “fun to be around” part “cool” works just fine for me solo.

Do your friends know about me?
Why would my friends know about you? I’m not a 16 year old girl so I don’t have to get up with all my homies and talk about it every time I meet someone. If you’ve ever seen a dude talk about a girl with his friends you’ll notice that men don’t even really use names. We normally give you a nickname based on 3 things a. where you live (Hawaii avenue joint) b. where we met you (Ben’s Chili Bowl joint) or c. your most impressive body part (phat butt joint). If you get to being important you’ll get a name but you will no longer be a part of the conversation among the homies because those conversations are based on our “adventures” and guys don’t have those types of “adventures” with their girls. To further prove my point I found out my best friend was in a relationship and living with the girl via FaceBook real talk.

If your friend asked who I was to you what would you say?
In a nutshell, if you’re not my girl, you’re a chick I chill with; end of story. What the fuck should I say? You are the sunshine of my life? You complete me? I don’t know what ya’ll expect on that one, but females love to put a title on shit; just can’t let shit be.

You know what just don’t ask me no questions I’m pleading the 5th to everything
Jean DeGrate has spoken

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