Monday, January 15, 2018

I’m going to See Black Panther and I’ll Punch You in the Face If You Ruin My Movie Going Experience

Black Panther is a month away and I haven’t seen black people so excited about anything since Obama got elected (1st term). Funny thing about it is the character has been around for over 50 years. He predates Storm (X-Men), The Falcon (the other big screen black member of the Avengers), Luke Cage and John Stewart’s Green Lantern. Matter of fact buddy used to be married to Storm #BlackLove #RelationshipGoals. Anyway I know the Negro community is coming out in full force; like there will be Avatar box office numbers; this shit might make George Lucas blush. The internet is phcking buzzing with people buying out entire movie theaters and dressing in themes.

I’m not with the shits.

I’m a comic book fan. I’m an avid movies goer. I’m a cinema aficionado. So I’m in the building EARLY for all comics that end up on the big screen i.e. I saw Hell Boy in the movies and it was terrible but it was my civil duty to see it.

I been on this shit; so much so I put my daughter on to this shit. With that said Madi nor JD is here for your shenanigans. I’ve comprised a short list of things that you should do to save yourself from getting punched in the face while trying to enjoy the Black Panther Marvel experience. Here it is…

1. Shut the fuck up the moment the trailers begin.

Not only did other patrons come for the movie we came for the trailers too. It’s a pivotal part of the movie going experience and could possibly line up future theater trips.

2. Stay shutting the fuck up

Don’t clap, howl, whistle or any of that noisy shit when your favorite character comes on screen. Trust me; they can’t hear you in Wakanda. Save your applause. Skip all the loud outburst during action scenes. No need to cheer T’Challa on. He got this, once again trust me, and not to let the cat out of the bag but the good guy wins. That’s the general theme thus far in the superhero genre of films.

3. Stay seated when the credits start to roll

The movie isn’t over. Sure the climax, falling action and dénouement have come and gone but Marvel tends to toss a couple of scenes in after the credits that are Easter eggs for upcoming releases. So if a wave of you movie neophytes rush out blocking the screen the people true to this Marvel shit might miss something pertinent.

You got it?

Good.

Because I will punch you in your fucking face if you ruin my movie.

Jean DeGrate is about that action

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