First, I know April fool’s day was yesterday. I was in Philly. Could I have dropped this the day before? Yes I could have if I would have actually written it then but I didn’t. Fight me. I mean are you going the read the blog or not? You are. So just enjoy it.
Second, I can see your true colors shining through on Facebook Snapchat. Unfortunately your true color is a very dark shade of ugly. Every morning there are fresh new videos and every morning I just have to click it to see you being ugly all over again. I’m a glutton for punishment. I might need help.
Third, the blog…
Women are by far my favorite tricksters followed closely by babies fake crying to get their way. They don’t get tired. They are pulling the wool over our eyes winter, summer, spring and fall and yup we keep falling for it. Ok let’s get on with it…
1. I “deserve”
I’ve said this before and I’m 100% sure I’ll say this again in my lifetime, but probably more like before the week is out. What men deserve and what women “deserve” in relationship varies greatly. We have to earn most of what we get very little is giving just because we “deserve” it. Ask any woman why she does what she does for her man and she’ll pull out a comprehensive list of attributes and task completed with dates included to warrant any privileges she has provided him. Ask a man why he does what he does for a woman and it will go a little something like this…
“She’s a good girl. I’m doing what a man is supposed to do. I’m old school. She deserves it.” And a series of other vague answers that are deeply rooted in who he is and how he defines himself as a man but not much about how she earned any of this. The swindle.
2. Unequal equality
Women love equality within reason. Just yesterday I watched a 4 minute video via Facebook where a woman shed real tears about having to change her own tire on the side of the road while several young men watched her struggle. She questioned the character of the new generation of men and wondered who was raising them. It was funny in an AAA membership doesn’t cost as much as you think it does type of way. The comment section was gold; men and women alike were bashing these young gentlemen for not being real men. See that’s how equality works for women, they want all the highlights and none of the tire changing. Paying on date? Man’s work. Hitting a man and getting hit back? A man should never lay hands on a woman. Standing on public transportation while men are seated? Oh no, he needs to offer that seat up quick. Now if we’re talking equal rights, equal pay and equal say so in a household where a man is expected to pay the majority if not all the bills they are here for that equality. We continue to drink the Kool Aid. Bottoms up.
3. Man of the house
Man of the house is a myth in a healthy modern relationship. You aren’t calling any shots and you got to shut the fuck up during “How to Get Away with Murder” or any other silly vagina friendly TV series (like Queen Sugar because women love Ralph Angel). You are going to be getting same old pussy and the same old attitude just paying the lion share of the bills because you’re just a man in the house. She can do bad all by herself so it’s a good thing you came along to lighten the load and allow her to flourish.
4. Real but not really real
Real - genuine and original, not artificial or synthetic… Well at least according to the good people at Webster-Merriam. A real man is just that a real man from the sole of his feet to the top of his head and everything is as it appears to be. A real man is a product of genetics, his environment, life experiences and time. Women love real men and often seek them out. A real woman on the other hand is bit harder to define because somehow weaves, body shapers, cosmetic surgery and whatever other upgrades they have out now doesn’t diminish the realness of a woman. Being a real woman is more of a state of mind over something you can actually touch and feel. From Jill Scott all the way to girl that got a boob job because she “loves” herself not for attention from men in passing. Insert several 100 emojis here.
Women keep hitting us with the Jedi mind trick and we go for it every time
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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