No New Friends (No Drake)

Seriously no Drake

Cuffing season is over and the 70 degree days are here. Ladies are breaking the sundresses out and the happy hours are bit happier. We are young sexy and free (well most of us aren't that young nor sexy but the free part is still valid).

The good times are here again, but what's sunshine without a little rain and that rain is the friend zone lurking behind her flirty smile. See as much as men love new pussy women equally love free drinks, meals and other outings provided by some unsuspecting suitor. Don't be that guy. Here is JD's top 5 ways to stay out of the friend zone during new pussy season.

1. If she ain't that fine ask her for nudes off top
Let's be honest every outing isn't going to end in you exchanging numbers with dimes. There will be nights when only the 6's and under are biting. Chances are these 6s won't view themselves as easy buckets but a few of them actually know their role. How do you separate them you ask? Ask for nudes. The girl that sends that face off nude back is down to... well you know, but the ones that get offended or start that "I don't even know you like that" speech proceed to deleting her number. You just saved time and money by thinning the herd.

2. Be in total control of the 1st date agenda
If she wants to see you it really doesn't matter what you plan to do excluding clubbing baby seals, coming over the house to chill and a candle lit dinner at a fast food restaurant. If you say let's go grab a few drinks, kick it in the park or see the new Hangover movie she should be down if she's really interested. It's those "take me here, I only really eat there, I'm tired of the movies" professional dating hoes that are trying to lean on your pockets and get a free meal up off you.

3. Ask her about her dating criteria and actually listen to her
See at a moment’s notice, unbeknownst to you of course, a female will slip you into that friend zone as soon as she realizes you don't fit enough of her criteria’s to get the pussy. It's your job to find out if you're heading to the friend zone before you make a move on her and she hits the brakes then calls you her brother. Let her go over that list of perfect mate wants and deal breakers. Likes men with beards but your goatee won't connect? Get out of there. Likes her men well-read but you only read comments on IG? Get out of there. Dates men that she considers her equal and she has her master's, 5 years into her career but you're the night manager at Walgreen's while taking online courses at Phoenix University for the last 4 years? Get out of there bro. Don't waste your time and energy trying to make a half-court shot when it's plenty of free throws and lay-ups out here to be made.

4. Do not offer up that mouth
I repeat do not offer up that mouth. It's an alarming number of you simps or whatever you like to refer to yourselves as, that offer up that mouth in hopes that it will get you to the pussy promise land. That route is not guaranteed nor is it remotely secure. You may find yourself with a face glazed in pussy juice and unfucked. Furthermore you will be labeled as the thirsty nigga that just gave her head and will be deported to the friend zone. Don't you come up off that mouth bro.

5. Don't do anything special pre-pussy
Don't loan her any money. Don't help her move (tell her you have a pencil fight championship match that day or something); just make yourself unavailable. Don't buy her any gifts. Don't celebrate her birthday; that "Happy Bday" text will more than suffice. Don't let her kids play games on your iPhone. Don't you do a damn thing over the top pre-pussy. Any of these actions will put you in the "nice guy"/push over category and women love to put the best of men in the friend zone. No good deed goes unpunished when it happens pre-pussy.

No new friend we don't do that (well maybe just a splash of Drake)
Jean DeGrate has spoken