Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Why it Rocks to Be Single on Valentine's Day if you're a Dude

It's that time of year when happy couples (and even not so happy couples pretend to be happy) get a little bit closer in the celebration of Valentine's Day. Men will spend money in excess on flowers that will be dead in a week, overpriced meals, chocolate and heart shaped jewelry straight from Kay Jewelers. In return he'll receive the same old pussy he's been receiving only this time it will be dressed in new lingerie.

Thank sweet baby Jesus you're single.

You don't have to spend a dime. You just saved a small fortune my nigga. Seriously, you couldn't have saved more if you switched your car insurance to Geico. You don't have to cut into your new Jordan fund or cut into that tax return money to prove to a girl you already have that you still love her. Nope. You can blow that newly acquired cash via the good people at H&R Block and the hood rat two buildings down that let you claim her kids however you feel. You won and don't let nobody ever tell you different.

You don't have to go the extra mile for the same old box.
Today is the day before V-day and millions of poor guys are running around to make sure their "I" s are dotted and "T" s are crossed on the plans for tomorrow. Bungled plans on V-day can ripple into a box shut out for days to come. Not the single guy thought. He's winning because being woman-less on February 14th is never a bad thing when you take into consideration the shit you need to deal with if you had one.

Those lonely hoes are out here.
The women that didn't make the cut during choosing season are still on the bench looking for a chance to get in the game. The pressure is on for these hoes. They are firing signal flares for all to see. The lonely hoes that aren't claiming their children as a valentine will be at somebody's happy hour tonight looking to get chosen late in the 4th quarter. Shit, even a single guy sitting in the friend zone can smoothly break into the cheek zone with a properly worded text and invitation to "chill" this week. All that corny bullshit that would have gotten you laughed at and screenshotted onto twitter and IG will get you in the door as her loneliness hits its peak.

Women don't really celebrate Steak and BJ day
If you were in a relationship trust and believe you won't reap the benefits of Steak and BJ day. Yesterday I bought it up on twitter and one of my followers thought I made it up. It's on no calendars so the guy in a relationship isn't getting any extra perks on March 14th.

Yep it's dope to be a single this time of year
Jean DeGrate has spoken

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