People that Eat Ass Are Untrustworthy

Because it had to be written

I remember it was the spring of 1997 when I was watching HBO's prison documentary "The Prisoners of the War on Drugs" for the first time and I was introduced to concept of eating ass. My young mind was blown. Now take into consideration I was already 17, no longer a virgin, I was selling drugs and get head on a regular basis. With all that accounted for the idea of somebody willing putting their mouth at the exit point for shit still floored me. Why oh sweet lord why would anybody even want to gamble with the chance of ingesting human feces? Even for incarcerated homo thugs doing life without the possibility of parole and nothing to lose that shit was still gross.

Eewww.

So the birth of Twitter and 15 years later folks are discussing and admitting to all types of sexually debauchery. I know more about the sexually likes and dislikes of perfect strangers than the less 20 plus women I've bedded, but seriously though. I pass a lot of judgment as I twatch from the sidelines. Everything from licking toes to syke-a-dyking to of course the eating of ass; because nothing is taboo on Twitter. It just takes a certain type of savage to dive face first into an asshole for the sake of sexually pleasure. When Andy Dufresne crawled thru a mile of shit in "The Shawshank Redemption" it was for freedom but you niggas are taste testing ass so a bitch can get a nut?

Nah.

With failure to find a rational reason for ass eating I official deemed all ass eaters to be untrustworthy. They have to be the kind of people that throw caution to wind and laugh in the face of danger. I mean seriously what's a 5 second rule to a person that eats ass? (What's a goon to a goblin?) I even came up with a list of the top 5 things I would especially not trust people that eat ass with.

Taste in restaurants
Oh your favorite restaurant is the Oceanaire? They make a crab cake to die for? You've never had a dish from there that you didn't love? Who the fuck cares? You eat ass for kicks. I can't hold you taste for food in any regard knowing you've ingested excrement. Fuck your opinion and your taste buds my nigga and I mean that in the nicest way.

Expiration dates on medicine and/or food
It's no way an ass eater is a stickler for expiration dates. They seem like the smell then taste type to me. To an ass eater an expiration date is nothing more than a suggestion of when something will no longer be safe to consume but they'll be the true judge of that themselves.

Washing hands after bathroom usage
This one here is a no brainer. If you'll put your face in ass what the fuck is the point of washing your hands after a trip to the facilities? An ass eating germaphobe is an oxymoron. Unless an ass eater physically has piss or shit on their hands I have a hard time imagining them taking advantage soap and water after dropping a deuce.

Being a designated driver
I don't trust you with your own safety being that you snack on human waste from time to time against better conventional judgment, so how the fuck can I trust you to not take a swig or two at the bar while I'm living it up? I can't. You eat ass so you're not about to turn down any drinks.

Safe sex practices
You go face first in ass; you ain't using condoms like that. No way around it you're going in raw whenever the mood hits.

I don't trust them, fight me
Jean DeGrate has spoken