Hi. I'm Jean DeGrate you may remember me from blogs such as "Hoe We Don't Have a Future", "That Degree Won't Keep You Warm at Night Baby" and also being blocked by your favorite Twitter personalities. Now I'm back again with the second installment of last year's blog "2012 in Not Your Year".
It's late in the 4th quarter and this year, just like last year and the year before, you're conjuring up New Year's resolutions (only to give up them by February) and plotting on conquering/claiming the upcoming year as your own.
(Okay the following paragraph is pretty much recycled from last year's blog but I'm pretty sure you all won't mind.)
365 days is a mighty long time to claim
Some of ya'll are praying to Jesus, Allah, the Judge at child support court and whoever else you think might have a hand into making 2013 better than 2012. Some of ya'll are doing that same prayer just to make it from pay check to pay check and from day to day. (Shit... somebody reading this blog is praying that the gas light in their car doesn't come on before payday right now.) Claiming an entire year may be just a little bit more than you can handle, especially if you're waiting for somebody to jump down out the sky and give you a helping hand. Start small claim a month. Make February your month not only because it's the shortest month of the year but because you can prepare for it all 31 days of January and it's Black History month. Winning, but here's some other reasons why you shouldn't claim 2013 as your year...
If the world ending on December 21st will be the highlight of your year
If the end of the world is the only thing that can make you problem free it's no way 2013 is going to be your pinnacle year.
If the most important thing you did this year was voting for Obama
Not to down play the importance of voting because we all know these new Obama era blacks put voting right up there with raising kids and being a good Christian, but it's not as of big deal as you'd like to make it out to be (Google the Electoral College). So if the biggest thing you did in all of 2012 was cast a ballot for the black guy you're haven't none much of anything and there is no elections in 2013 so how you going to top that? You're not.
If you "live" for your kids
Aside for the oxymoron that is living for somebody else but trying to claim something for yourself; I won't even touch on that. Just the proposal of life being meaningless until you had fuck trophies is just... well stupid. How did you manage not to kill yourself or get strung out on drugs when you were living your life without purpose before kids? You can't claim a year if you can't even take ownership of your own life.
If you've had more that 4 jobs in the last 4 years
If making it to a 1 year anniversary is a major milestone for you at place of employment how are you going to conquer a year? Baby steps; stick around at job long enough for your benefits to kick in, get a raise or two and maybe even see what that 2 year anniversary is hitting on then work up to claiming a year as your own.
Your last major accomplishment was graduating from high school
Contrary to Negro beliefs; buy a house, having kids, getting married, successfully acquiring Jordans, managing to stay out of jail and never catching an STD aren't accomplishments. Sorry. I know they all make for excellent FaceBook status updates and Tweetgrams but none of that will get you into the gates of heaven or make it on to a noteworthy resume.
Get your life in order before you run out and start claiming years
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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