Monday, September 17, 2012

Your Life is Easy

People love to complain about their woes and how hard life is. Nigga please, I used to think my life was hard until I turned on the fucking news. I'm not talking about "Timmy that got shot in a drive by in East Oakland" news. Nah, fuck that shit people get shot everyday, I mean unless an unarmed black man gets shot by a white man because that's big news (somehow Trayvon Martin holding a bag of Skittles and a can of iced tea trumps the entire City of Chicago). I'm talking world news with the India power outage that lasted 20 hours and affected 300 million people. My power was out for 5 days I stayed in a hotel on the other side of town with cable TV, pillow top mattresses, free wifi and a free breakfast buffet every morning. I though I was in hell; my fish died and why should I have to catch an elevator to get a plate full of free bacon. It was fucking torture but somewhere in Africa little boy has never had electricity and has to walk 3 miles to stream for a bucket of water only to carry it on his head back home before school.

We live in a country where homeless people have vices, cell phones and preferences (true story a homeless lady once told me she doesn't eat pork). The government picks up the tab on child care and medical needs for the less fortunate. Fuck you can get famous here for just acting like an idiot on reality TV or saying funny shit on the internet.

Women
Women are always complaining about how difficult their lives are and how horrible men are but no men ever say "shut the fuck up" because they want to fuck them. Nobody is calling you on your shit. Motherhood is hard I get it, I feel you kind of after all I am I dad. But here's the catch that puts all back on you... you gave birth to that so you're responsible for that. If you let a person climb out of your vagina you have to take care of it that's been the rule since the dawn of time. It's a thankless job? Fuck you. You're not supposed to get thanked for cleaning up your own mess. That's why mother's day is always on a Sunday because nobody is going to give you a day off for some shit you willingly got into. Here a perk to being a woman... men are always trying to feed you (unless your hideous in that case blame your parents). Strange woman don't walk up to me in the street trying to take me out to feed and I'm good looking even when women do try to go out with me the meal is still on me.

Racism
Stop pulling the fucking race card shit on everything please. We got a black president and being that black people only make up 16.3% of the US even if every black that was "eligible" to vote voted twice it still wouldn't be enough for us to single handedly put a black man in office. I hate the cops, but if the police pulled you over maybe you looked like you were up to some shit or did something wrong. With statistics like 1 in 3 black men going to jail and making up 40% of the prison population it's easy to assume you might be up to some shit. In these cases racially profiling and playing the odds go hand and hand. You haven't been sprayed by a fireman's hose or attacked by a policeman's dog just for standing up for your rights. You haven't picked cotton and had to call some white man master so go find some chill.

Technology
Despite the lack of flying cars and microwaves that heat food evenly, current technology is the shit, but you people are never happy. The phone that's currently sitting in my pocket not only makes wireless calls, but it's a fucking computer. Niggas landed on the moon in a spaceship powered by a jazzy calculator and you fucking ingrates go into full melt down mode when you can't change your avi on fucking Twitter. If your iPhone/Android phone doesn't do all you need it to do shut the fuck and build a better one.

We got it sweet for real
Jean DeGrate has spoken


2 comments:

  1. I am laughing so hard at this.(trying not to disturb ppl @ work).. I agree w/ everything you wrote!! Most won't, but whatever... Enjoying the blog..

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  2. Once again good blog fam...I'm bout to read all I missed..

    ReplyDelete