Wednesday, August 29, 2012

You Can't Be Holding Out On That Vagina If...

In this day and age it's damn near a known fact that hoes be winning. A lot of women haven't converted over into the friendly vagina realm as of yet, but some of you really can't afford to hold out like that. I know I say this often but a lot you women are out here on your way to being cat ladies and holding that pussy in a chokehold isn't bringing you any closer to the man of your dreams. Since I haven't done an "if" list in a while and this is an issue that needs to be spoken on here you go...

You can't be holding out on that pussy if your baby daddy ain't shit
All that waiting to get know somebody better shit is out the door because your judge of character is off as is. "Let me get this right you let this other nigga hit it raw, carried his child to term and he left you on stuck but you telling me to wait 3 months for you to come off the pussy? You seen the waiter? I'm going to need that check NOW."

You can't be holding out on that pussy if you're ugly
Due to the structure of society it's a 1000 times better to be an ugly man than it is to be an ugly woman (i.e. Seal married and had several kids with supermodel Hedi Klum). Being facial challenged means you'll have to move a little faster sexually than the next female if you plan on staying in the game.

You can't be holding out on that pussy if you're naked on the net
You're naked, on the internet. It doesn't matter if it's Instagram bathroom photo shoots or real modeling that you actually received taxable payment for if your nipples have been seen on a computer screen men will expect a certain level of promiscuity. Oh, you not about that life? Well then you should have kept your titties off the internet.

You can't be holding out on that pussy if you're a non-balling stripper
You're making a 1000 a night or better every time you walk up in the club without fucking, sucking or bouncing around on niggas laps. You have clearly won and  you my dear can put that pussy on a pedestal so high that Shaquille O'Neal would have to tippy toe to reach. Now all you other strippers with stretch marks, depressed titties and/or cellulite refer to the paragraph prior then swap out internet for strip club.

You can't be holding out on that pussy if you're in constant need of attention
If you're the type of chick that wants a man to take you out every week then still turn around and stay on his phone to the 1am in the morning or later texting and sending smiley faces and shit; you need to be coming off of some of that pussy. How many times you think a grown man going to be running late for work because he was burning up his free nights and weekend's minutes talking to you all night? Ain't that much great conversation in world, especially if you're within 15 miles of his home.

You can't be holding out on that pussy if you're bi-sexual
In the world of men bi equals freak. The only perk of knowingly a bi chick is for the chance of the 3some. You can't be out in these streets eating pussy and what not then just think a dude is going to be cool with you taking it slow. Shit, he wants to get the fucking out of the way just to work up to that 3some quicker.

You need to stop bullshitting and come up off them cheeks girl
Jean DeGrate has spoken


1 comment:

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