You’re Way More Ordinary than You’d Like to Believe

I briefly alluded to this subject before in a section of another blog, but just from having regular day-to-day interactions with ordinary cocky coons, I now see this deserves a blog all of its own…   

I don’t know what misleading events happened in you peoples’ childhoods, but there’re a whole lot of grown ass average Joe’s and Jane’s (and Jean’s) walking around overvaluing their worth. Maybe, your mom put one too many “C” report cards on the fridge door or your Grandma told you could be anything you wanted to be, but years later, it’s clear that you really took that shit to heart.   

You’re not special and I really mean that  
Let’s be clear folks: I know Jesus loves you… Your momma does too. Hell, the bitch you fucked last night probably just sent you an “I love you” text message with a naked picture attached. That’s cool. Chances are your life will come to end and nothing noteworthy will come from it. Your tombstone will read, “Here Lies Devoted Father and Son…” and not “The first nigga to flip a pair of Galaxy Foamposites on EBay for 2 stacks” or “The best spades player from all of uptown” or “The only nigga on Southside to got stuck up ass Keisha pregnant”.  You niggas are not out here curing cancer, saving dying babies in Africa, or promoting world peace (retweeting that Kony shit doesn't count)… Fuck it; me either, and that’s cool we’re all just ordinary people. When you die, it’s safe to assume none of your accomplishments will be etched in stone. Your momma and Keisha will cry, and the Earth will continue to spin on its 23 degree axis. Please, don’t let those 65 “likes” on your last FaceBook status go to your head.   

Stop patting yourself on the back for doing the right thing  
You break your neck to make sure your kids are good. Big fucking deal; that’s what you’re supposed to do. You made them so you have to take care of them. Of course, there’re some people who don’t do all they need to do for their kids, and those people are fucked up parents. But, nobody’s sending out awards to single mothers who manage to make PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, help with homework, and still keep a full-time job. Here’s a cookie, though. (Don’t ever say Jean DeGrate ain’t give you shit.) Oh, you’re good at your job and always come to work on time. Great, I’m sure the management is doing cartwheels behind closed doors because of your efforts.  Did it ever cross your mind that maybe because your job keeps food on your table and Remy weave in your head that maybe (just maybe) you should be good at it? How hard is bagging groceries at Safeway anyway? No kudos shall be given. The list of trivial shit that you coons want recognition for goes on and on: you’ve never been locked up, you pay your bills on time, you have good credit, you live on your own, you own a car, or you’ve never caught an STD. Congratulations… you’re an average motherfucker.  

Nobody is really “hating” on you  
There’s a huge line between hate and “hating”. Some people genuinely dislike you and it has nothing to do with your current lifestyle, who you’re dating, or how much you got back on your tax return because you claimed your cousin’s kids. This is an example of hating: “I hate Lil’ Wayne mainly because he dresses funny and talks weird. I believe that should negate his money and fame, and he should be reduced to fucking ordinary bitches.” Now, does Lil’ Wayne fucking bad bitches effect me in any way? Nope. I don’t have to hear his music, listen to his interviews, or look at pictures of his babies’ mothers. I could completely cancel him out of my life. Nobody probably cares that much about what you do to go out the way to hate on you. So paying off your car from Eastern Motors in 3 years instead of 5 isn’t really stirring up as much as a fuss as you thought it might.  

Get the fuck over yourself, and live your life  
Jean DeGrate has spoken