Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Things Baby Mothers Say

*Since everybody and their mother are doing a blog or a YouTube video about what things people from all walks of life say, I figured I’d jump on the bandwagon.*
 
Not that I have several kids running around but I’ve slept with enough single women with children to finish a sentence or two when they get to talking that baby daddy and single parenthood shit.
 
“He’ll never find another one like me”
All baby mothers are the cream of the crop in their own eyes. Even if their bodies didn’t bounce back after they dropped that seed they are the best that you can ever hope to do. So what if your new girl looks like Stacy Dash, makes 6 figures a year and cooks like she taught Paula Dean and Rachel Ray how to use a stove.
 
“…that’s the least he could do, I am taking care of his child”
Because baby mothers love to throw in your face they are taking care of your child whenever they need/ask for something that isn’t quite child related. So when you’re painting her upstairs bathroom or taking her car to the shop to make sure they don’t try to charge her for some extra shit, just remember you “owe” her because she watches the child you both made.
 
“Oh I could have him back if I wanted him, trust that”
No matter how many times he cheated when they were together or how far the father of that child has moved on the only reason they’re not together is because she doesn’t want him. No girlfriend, wedding band, restraining order or act of God could keep them apart if she decided it’s time to patch things up.
 
“He still be trying to fuck and shit”
Yeah this is true in almost every case. Dudes love to think the baby momma pussy is the go to move in a clutch, no matter how many times he gets shut down.
 
“He can play with me if he wants I’ll have his ass in court quick”
Baby mothers love love love to threaten to take a nigga to court. You were 15 minutes late with the drop off Sunday night. “Don’t make me take you to court to get that visitation taken back”. That 500 a month you pay in child support didn’t stretch as long last month as it normally does so she called you for a little extra and you said no. “We’ll be back in court getting this 500 raised because you know that just ain’t going to cut it no more”.
 
“My child is the best thing to happen to me”
Word? I can’t tell, like not even a little bit.
 
“I love my kids, but if I knew what I know now I would have waited”
Don’t take this the wrong way but, bitch please. Women kill me with that line. If you were born after 1975 you knew of some other young single mothers that were struggling before you got knocked up and decided to have that seed. None of you invented this single parenthood shit it was examples all around you.
 
Now somebody make a YouTube video off of this and credit me.
Jean DeGrate has spoken

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