I’d like to give a big shout out to Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas for opening my eyes to just how delusional some women really are. I watched about 3.5 episodes of “What Chilli Wants” because I thought she was fine. I had mean crush on Chilli when I was younger; so much so that I once owned all of the TLC CDs. I wasn’t even slightly interested in why a beautiful has-been R&B singer with only one kid and cash of her own couldn’t find a good man. In my mind, that entire season should have been able to be summed up in 60 minutes. I mean she’s fine, somewhat famous, and openly looking for a man. Shit, niggas should have been lined up around the block… That’s what I thought before I realized that bitch was crazy. Her standards were off the fucking chart even for a chick that is as desirable as she is. Since then, I’ve been paying close attention to what women want out of men.
You’re not as special as you’d like to think you are…
Let’s use me for starters… As charismatic, clever, funny, good looking, and cool as I’d like to think I am, I’m not really doing shit extraordinary. Real talk, last week a roller told me I’m not relationship material with a straight face. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but that’s the realest shit she could have said. And, while her pussy has more mileage on than a fleet of taxicabs, she still has the right to decide whether or not I’m “relationship material”. All the things that make you think you’re the shit might not really matter to the guys you want to be interested in you. (Please see “We Really Don’t Care about That Shit” for further elaboration. HYPERLINK "http://jeandegrate.blogspot.com/2011/07/we-really-don-care-about-that-shit.html)" http://jeandegrate.blogspot.com/2011/07/we-really-don-care-about-that-shit.html))
You’re a great mother…
You know who really gives a fuck about you being a great mother? (1) Your kids and (2) yeah… that pretty much sums up that list. If your baby daddy is really about his issue, how great of a mother you are doesn’t excite him either. After all, he is the one that busted the nut in you so he probably was already aware of your motherly capabilities from the start. Believe it or not, not having kids is a bragging point (even if you are an outstanding mom). Mommy and kids come together like a combo deal so it’s always better not to have them. Your kid can be the cutest, smartest baby in the world, but most men are going to view him or her as cute, smart BAGGAGE. Your new dude wants to catch a movie then dinner and drinks, but instead, he’s standing in your living room playing Power Rangers with Jr. because your babysitter fell thru. Get the fuck out of here. I know it’s not your fault that you can’t find a sitter because you’re a single mother, and nobody is helping you. But you let your deadbeat baby daddy bust a nut in you, and that my dear is your fault. Your kids might be the best thing that ever happened to you, but the worst thing to happen to any up and coming relationship. Lower your standards, and you might get a dude with some understanding to your situation.
You think you’re the shit
Ugly women, pretty women, fat women, skinny women and every 3rd woman in-between thinks she’s the shit. Confidence is at an all time high, and with all that confidence normally comes with a large side order of shitty attitude. For every girl out here that’s ACTUALLY the shit, there’re 200 subpar bitches that think they are the shit, and 400 dudes tired of fucking with them “I think I’m the shit bitches”. The only thing worse than a nice looking girl with an “I’m the shit” attitude is a busted bitch with the same disposition. Leave that shit at the door; we don’t need you to remind us of how great you think you are.
You’re a bill
Women cost money, and it doesn’t matter how much tricking a dude says he doesn’t do. Even if you avoid dating, courting, all the other bullshit, and jump straight to fucking, you still have to pay for the condom. Yeah, I know you’re worth all these fancy nights out on the town… right? But, are you really? Think of the situation reversed: would you take a new dude (not your boyfriend or even someone you’ve cracked) out for a night on the town simply because you enjoyed his company? If you said, “yes,” you’re full of shit… know that. What makes your conversation/company so much better than the chick that’s down to kick it in the house, eat carry-out, and hit up Red Box? Way less than you actually think; plus, the chances of fucking after a movie at the crib are far greater than after being out on the town. No matter how much paper a nigga has, we all count our coins when it comes to the “pussy bill”. I might easily have on a $1500 outfit on a random Wednesday, but I can’t remember the last random Wednesday I frolicked around town spending endless bread on Ms. New Booty. So, checking for that “wine and dine every weekend” type-of nigga because you think you deserve that might just have you waiting at home alone for while.
Single by choice
I only know of ONE girl who is really “single by choice”. She’s single because she’s in school studying for her PhD and doesn’t believe she’d make a good girlfriend, but please believe she has dudes waiting for that window of opportunity. Chances are if you’re “single by choice”, you can’t find the man you think you deserve. That’s right up there with being unemployed because you’re too good to work at Target. Keeping that logic will eventually have you dyking it up or becoming a cat lady. The choice is yours. Your standards are too high for your own good. It’s really simple; if you only attract “ain’t shit niggas” or niggas that aren’t interested in becoming serious then either you ain’t shit or you ain’t shit to be taken seriously. Think of the male you: if that nigga is one month away from eviction, changes jobs more often than the seasons, makes less than 50k a year, has two or more kids, stays with some sort of drama, and lives at the bar/club, you know you wouldn’t want to date that guy. So why on God’s green earth would a guy better off than that want to date you? Because you think you’re cute and fun to be around? Yea, that ain’t going to cut it.
Turn that ego down some, and face reality.
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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