Why Women Are Better Cheaters

Off top let me just say women ARE NOT better cheaters than men… blog over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, the blog isn’t over, but women aren’t better cheaters. Their success is just based on certain circumstances that simply fall in their favor.

A man cheating is a common occurrence
Do you remember the media blitz Tiger Woods got for giving the backstroke to those sideline Barbie-looking bitches? How about every Tyler Perry movie ever made featuring some dude fucking around? You want to know why the media blows this shit out of proportion? The answer is simple: men are known to get pussy on the side. If you have female friends then you know every female has been cheated on at least once. If you’re a female and you feel like you haven’t, you’re a damn fool. Men cheating is often the topic of conversation over Panera bread lunches and girls-day-out shopping trips. Men being dogs is widespread knowledge, and even if you aren’t a dog, the label is still attached to you. This is an advantage to women because out the gate, they already think you’re cheating… all they need is confirmation. And, they will do whatever they can to find out, which brings me to my second point.

Women are suspicious by nature
… And by suspicious I mean “distrustful and just plain old fucking nosey”. If your girlfriend isn’t checking your cell phone and attempting to hack your FaceBook account, you don’t have a girlfriend. When you went to the bathroom to piss and left your phone sitting on the couch, trust and believe she read six pages of text messages before you flushed the toilet. Then, she put your phone back on the exact same screen, in the exact same place, in the exact same facedown position before you finished washing your hands. When you got back to continue movie night, she was making mental notes of every Bitch’s name she saw that she didn’t know or particularly like. Sunday is ya’ll’s movie night so expect a random “Who’s Kim?” as you’re driving to dinner Thursday night. God forbid you really had some dirt in your phone (or at least what seemed like dirt according to crazy woman standards) you can fully expect, “Who the FUCK is this new Bitch Kim that texted you ‘where have you been lately?’” to pop off immediately. All the while, you just keep repeating, “But, why you looking thru my phone thou?” Kim could be any damn body: your friend, homie from back in the day, or the Asian nigga you ball with on Saturday mornings, but in your girlfriend’s mind, you are cheating with Kim. Besides just normal phone slip-ups, they notice your off behavior and will not to hesitate to investigate the cause of it. If you normally double lock your door, but today you chose the bottom lock only, she noticed, and she’s wants to know why. If you always play rap in the car, but this morning when she turned on the radio smooth jazz came on, she’s hip, and assumptions are building by the second. If you sneeze 4 times in row, something is going on. Apparently, that sideline bitch gave you a cold, and she needs to know how. This is an advantage to women because eventually she will catch you slipping.

Pride won’t allow men to be distrustful
It doesn’t matter how many times a man has given another man’s girlfriend that outside dick, he’ll refuse to believe that his girl could cheat on him. A dude could have been playing outside dick for a chick, wait for the breakup, then seriously date that same cheating bitch, but would bet his life she wouldn’t cheat on him. He’ll come up with all types of excuses as to why she cheated on the other dude just to sooth his ego. “He wasn’t laying that pipe right.” “She really wanted to leave him, but she wasn’t trying to break the lease.” “His mother had just died, and she couldn’t leave him when he was already down.” But, the thought of her being an “ain’t shit” cheating ass bitch never crosses his mind. Outside of an empty condom wrapper falling out of her purse or a homie sending him camera phone pictures of her walking hand in hand with some other nigga in the park, she can do no wrong. This is an advantage to women because they can almost get away with anything, and he won’t scrutinize it because his just knows his backstrokes are all she needs.

We are afraid of looking like a bitch
If a man does all that snooping shit women do, he automatically looks like a bitch ass nigga. You checking to see what she wrote on some niggas wall of FaceBook… yep, bitch move. You were reading her Twitter direct messages over her shoulder… yep, bitch move. You looking thru her phone while she cooks dinner… yep, that’s a bitch move too. A dude’s named could be stored in your woman’s phone as “Big Dick Larry”, and the moment you dial that number or send him a text from her phone to see what it do, a team of your homies will bust threw your window and revoke your man card on the spot. And, even if your homies don’t revoke your card, your girl will pull the old, “you must be cheating your damn self if you’re so insecure about Big Dick Larry texting me all day.” This is an advantage to women because unless the circumstances are dire, no “real” man will check up on his girl. And if you are that guy, pull your skirt down B.

Women are sneaky
All that 007 spy shit women do to check on men, they reuse those same skills when it comes to successfully acquiring and executing sexual relations with outside dick. I got a chick right now that I’m not even fucking, but she only speaks to me during her work hours because she doesn’t want her man to know. Can you imagine how much she’d go thru to cover her tracks if we were fucking? Women create back stories for men they ain’t even fucked yet so if you do end up getting the pussy and her man runs across you, she can plug you into that lie. “Baby, this is Jermaine he was the only male cheerleader at my high school. Remember when I told you he used to tutor me in French, and we stay in contact via FaceBook? Well, I ran into him at Starbucks this morning and decided to hook up for lunch. But, what you doing down here?” Cheating bitches always make their other nigga seem soft or possibly gay so their boyfriend won’t feel threatened. I mean really, what man could ever be threatened by a male cheerleader? The level of smoothness ya’ll hoes exhibit is down right brilliant, and definitely an advantage, which brings me to my final point…

Yeah, on second thought, women are better cheaters.
Jean DeGrate is watching you hoes