Wednesday, March 10, 2010

We “EXCLUSIVE” but he ain’t my man

On Monday a friend of mind asked me “Why do men say we are exclusive instead of committing? What’s the difference? If he is only dealing with me and I’m only dealing with him why not just be together?” And here is the difference and the reasons why you’re not quite his girl.

1. She don’t have to know; she’s not my girl

It’s certain things he won’t do because he may have to tell his girl but the unofficial girlfriend line isn’t really clear as most of you would like it to be. Your exclusive meaning he won’t stick his dick in anybody else but that doesn’t mean he not taking the girl’s number who always flirts with him in the elevator or calling that cute chick from the bar last week the moment he gets off the phone with you. Matter of fact here’s a prime example and a true story...

Mike goes with Dave to see these chicks to play wingman. While they are at the young ladies’ residence, Mike drank 2 shots of Patron, out of Ms. Wingman’s cleavage, let her massage his joystick, for about 45 seconds and palmed that ass one good time on his way out the door. Did he smash? Nope, so the exclusive agreement remains unbreached but it’s definitely something his “Exclusive” girl would frown about ,good thing he doesn’t have to tell her.

2. I’m not obligated to do it

There are things he will do for his girl that he won’t do for Ms. Exclusive

The degree of moving help
Your man will cancel all plans go pick up the U-Haul get to the spot early in the morning and stay until the job is done. He even comes back the next day to help unpack all your shit and break the new place in, if he didn’t spend the night.
Your exclusive dude will show up mid day but he will tell you were those Mexican day workers can be found.

If you’re broke
Your man will toss you some bucks to make ends meet.
Your exclusive dude will take you out to make you feel better about being broke.

If you get a flat coming home late at night
Your man will come out to meet you and change your tire and then take you to get a replacement the next day so you won’t be riding on a donut.
Your exclusive dude will look up tow truck numbers for you and remind you to stand out of the road, but will sound real sympathetic while he’s doing it

3. Commitment is Commitment

Once he says “You’re my girl” it’s real he’s cutting off all those chicks that are just hanging around and ready to make a move when he makes their phone ring. He changes his Facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ (and even his momma is on Facebook) so the whole wide web knows, even the girl he doesn’t really know but she is phat as fuck that sent him a friend request this morning. He allows your hot pink toothbrush to sit on the edge of his sink and your Oil of Olay bodywash to sit in his shower instead of tucking all that shit away the second your out the door.

Making the jump from exclusive to commitment is really a world away. Exclusive means you get dibs on the weekends and he is only fucking you. For most dudes that doesn’t even mean you’ll get a Valentine’s Day present; I mean after all you’re not his girl ,a single rose from the Latino 3rd street will do just fine.

Commitment is a big deal and exclusive not so much.
Jean DeGrate has spoken

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