5 Little known facts about Jean DeGrate

1. Ladies if you want to have sex with me just put my dick in your mouth, gets me in the mood every time guaranteed

It’s been many times that I’ve fallen asleep on a female who was trying to get it popping and was hoping I could read her mind because I couldn’t read her frisky mood while she sat on the other side of the couch watching TV while avoiding physical contact with me. Then the next day I get a call like this...

Her - I was so horny last night and you just went to sleep on me
JD - Word?
Her - Why didn’t you try anything?
JD - I’ve been trying to steer clear of that whole thing rape lately (but what I really meant is how the fuck what I suppose to know you wanted to get it in you were watching “For the Love of Ray J” so attentively and koonism bores me so much)

2. Some days I just do not want to be bothered.

Some mornings I wake up and really rather be alone. Loafing around the house, cooking for myself, watching funny movies and ignoring the phone works just fine for me. Don’t be mad if you been calling me for 8 straight hours and been getting the end button after 2 rings.

3. I’m very afraid of the single gun shot

I’ve been shot at and in some cases I’ve even shot back, but good aim in the hood isn’t common. To hear a barrage of gun shots is very common and about 15 minutes later you’d hear police sirens, then about 60 minutes later you’ll get the hood news version of who was shooting at who because people are seldom hit. Let’s face it; if our gun toting thugs spent as much time at the range as they spend on buying Air Jordan’s and playing Madden ever nigga in the hood could be a certified swat team sniper. So when that one unaccompanied shot emerges from the silence and fades back into calm, much in that way of how it came; that’s some scary shit. It makes me think a Dirty Harry/Doc Holiday type of dude is lurking around the corner with the marksmanship of an assassin.

4. I wish I could sing

I mean really sing, but not so I can go to American Idol or try to get a recording contract, but when my favorite song comes on the radio and I open my mouth to hit a note or two people won’t look at me like Mumble from “Happy Feet”. My very good friend Fatz AKA Russell once compared my singing voice to static.

5. I used to live in Macon, Georgia

That’s right from the ages of 10 thru 11, I was a watermelon eating, dirt bike riding, baseball playing country fuck. Things I learned in GA how to drive, fight, smoke and piss while walking.

There you have it you should all feel a little closer to DeGrate
Jean DeGrate has spoken