What Really Grinds My Gears Volume III

Ugly people calling other people ugly

I’m about to start carrying a mirror around for these physically unfortunate souls who deem it ok to talk about another persons looks. Real talk have you seen you are there any mirrors in your house? How dare you part your fugly lips to call another person ugly when you look like you’ve taken a beating or two with the ugly stick?

Busted chicks that complain about dudes not being up to their standards

“...this nigga aint got no real job he doing home improvement work with his father he aint getting no W2 for that shit and he got the nerve to be riding around in 94’ piece a shit...” I hear one of these types of rants like twice a week and when I turn my head I see some busted ran down looking broad; when I’m expecting to see somebody that would be able to grace a magazine cover or at least ride passenger seat no tint. But nope without fail it’s some mud duck going on some dude. Look here you busted baby if you were better looking yeah you could get a better dude and I know that’s some superficial shit to say but that’s just the way shit is. Busted women end up with sub par dudes unless the busted chick is paid it’s male gold diggers out there too.


Grown ass men with Mohawks

I know all these music videos, professional athletes, and TV stars are starting to rub off on you and they make you feel like you can pull it off. Nah you’re dead wrong. You look like a fucking idiot. Mohawk weren’t meant for regular people. Native Americans don’t even wear Mohawks and they invented the hairstyle,
So here’s a list of people that should never rock a Mohawk.

If you never counted out 10k of your own money no Mohawk for you
If you don’t own a fashion boutique or hair salon (not a barbershop) you can’t do a Mohawk
If you have a dress code or you have to wear a uniform to work no Mohawk for you.
If you go to your barber and say “Give me a Mohawk” and he looks at you as if he’s waiting you to say “I’m just bullshitting” no Mohawk for you
If you think your friends will make jokes about you for months to come then no Mohawk for you

My City not repping My City

I’m sick and fucking tired of walking into DTLR, Footlocker, Lidz, or any other spot they might carry Fitted Caps and see 1000 hats in every color of the rainbow except the Nationals. How the fuck do you have 100 hats and only 2 of them have anything to do with the city you’re operating in? Maybe if I go to NYC I can rack up on National hats because we got all the Yankee joints down here.

Dumb Ass Tattoos

Some people treat their bodies like a scratch pad and when the moment hits them they are off to the tattoo shop to get Bugs Bunny shooting dice holding a bottle of Moet or they might just grab one of those cliché tats that I love so much like the panther, the 2pac cross, tribal arm band and the classic dog/tiger paw prints. Put some thought into your tat and try to be slightly original. Do you really want to be 50 with Jessica Rabbit in a Bikini on your back or even worst dropping 1200+ on tattoo removal so it could look like somebody poured hot acid on your arm?

Local rappers selling their CD’s on the street

No boom box, no freestyle, just a poorly package CD with a name scribbled on with a black Sharpie. “Son show love, I’m just trying to get my music out there and it’s that crack. I’m letting them go for 5” is like the standard spiel. I used to toss 5 dollar bills out to these dudes until I had about 25 CDs sitting on my kitchen counter that I never heard. So one day I grabbed the stack and headed to work to give them a listen. Every single disk; every single track just horrible and I don’t mean just sound bad I mean atrocious in every aspect from the horrible production, the recycled beats, to 3rd grade rhyming patterns. I mean how many times can I hear “Vest”, “Chest”, and “Rest” rhymed together at the end of a bar? Now when those dudes walk up on me I just say “I don’t listen to rap”. Plus I can get 3 for 10 from my bootleg man of shit I actually want to here; Officer Ricky here I come.

People will always do dumb shit and as long as ya’ll keep reading I'mma keep writing
Jean DeGrate has spoken