Take pictures of themselves
You may fresh out of the barbershop with the greatest shape-up ever or just left the gym feeling super ripped and the feeling hits you to make this a Kodak moment. But before you start that bathroom/drivers seat photo shoot ask yourself a few simple questions a. is this gay? b. would I be ashamed if my friends saw me doing this and c. how cool do I look right now pointing this camera at myself? If you can live with the answers to those questions go head point and click and I hope all your pictures come out fabulous.
Using text jargon in regular conversation
Straight nameless dude (SND) - OMG she is so phat!
JD - What the fuck? (Not WTF because in real life we don’t use acronyms for everyday phrases we just say that shit)
SND - Dude she is phat
JD - Nah say exactly what you just said
SND - Oh my God shorty is so phat
JD - No say it exactly like you said it; no remix no edit say what you just said verbatim
SND - OMG she is so phat
JD - Dude are you a 17 year old white girl? Why the fuck is OMG even in your vocabulary? OMG you’re a fucking lame. Now LOL at that.
Wear skinny jeans
It’s one type of guy that can get away with wearing skinny jeans and still get respect they are called rock stars. Are you a rock star? Do you have fans? Have you ever performed to a sold out crowd? Plus if you and your girl are wearing the same size jean who’s really the man in the relationship? Dude I can see the outline of you calf muscle take that dumb shit off. It could be me but I’ve never had the urge to see the outline of my package thru my pants.
Can’t wear skinny jeans because my pride won’t fit
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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