Wednesday, August 23, 2017

There’s Something about Molly

By now everybody has seen the latest episode of Insecure. Oh you haven’t? Then stop right now, go catch up and get back at me. I’ll be here. I’ll wait. I won’t but this blog will be here.

Now for the people up to date with the most recent episode (Hella Shook)… the Molly hive fell apart. The Molly hive is in shambles. I wanted to start a GoFundMe so they could get some professional counseling and consoling. But let me say this much Molly isn’t wrong. You may not approve of what she did but she’s definitely not wrong not even a little bit. Well maybe a little bit of wrong because she did invite the homie from “This Is Us” to the cookout then left in a fit of rage with tall lightskin (I know his name but I rather call him tall lightskin). Sometimes people get left places and Lyft exist, but other than that Molly didn’t do anything wrong.

Some of ya’ll probably don’t understand how we got here but that something about Molly is also something about a lot of us. The entirety of season 1 shows us Molly looking for love and failing horribly. Dating guys that match her fly and failing horribly. The one time she made a detour from that path she ended up dating a bisexual Enterprise employee. Right up to Sunday’s episode I didn’t understand her motivation. I couldn’t see why she was so hell bent on finding this perfect love and trying to force herself into these instant relationships. She was chasing the idea of marriage based on what she believed her parents have and that shit went up in smoke. We’ve all followed someone else’s lead to achieve desired results (that’s why exercise exists). I mean, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander right? Right.  (Quick side note; if you were born after 1985 you might not know that a gander is actually a male goose. I’m also bringing this saying back in 2018 so stay tuned.)

You’d be wrong though

People love to pretend to be happy. People love to hold up public appearances. People love to act like some shit is great when it ain’t. Beyoncé walked out of an elevator, where her sister had just beat up her husband, photo the fuck ready. Last year on April 20th you couldn’t tell a random black person that Jay-Z and Beyoncé weren’t the epitome of black love and we all love love. Three days later Lemonade dropped and turned the world upside down. Before you say your relationship goals weren’t Jay-Z and Beyoncé… You know what the fuck I mean. Stop tripping over semantics. There were the “it” couple. They were the best combination since ugly women and Instagram filters. Well Instagram came after but you know what I mean. When the façade broke down not only did the world look at them different the world moved differently. My PhD thesis paper will actually be titled “How Lemonade Pushed Side Chick Culture to the Next Level”.

See here’s the thing if you’ve been striving for a goal, denying yourself of certain pleasures; all in the pursuit of something that you abruptly find out doesn’t exist you’ll flip the fuck out. Especially if you’ve been following in the steps of someone you know and trust to achieve a goal you’ll feel betrayed. You’ll lash out, but most importantly you’ll say “fuck that shit” and pull a Molly. And by “pull a Molly” I don’t exactly mean sleep with a childhood friend that has an open marriage in rebellion against the marriage you thought your parents had but more like… Eating that cake when you find out your homie got her waist snatched in the DR instead of that "lemon water diet and 500 crutches a day" bullshit dream she been selling you.  If you have a Molly type of situation, the #HoeIsLife movement is always accepting new members because Molly ain’t broken no vows to nobody and marriage ain’t what it used to be.

Still team Molly
Jean DeGrate has spoken

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