5 Things I'll Make Sure My Daughter Knows Before She Grows Up

***There are no jokes in the blog***

When I was a kid, the basis of being a grownup was finishing school then going to college (I dropped out), finding a good job, moving out, and starting a family. It seemed so simple. Along the way, ideals and morals were forced upon me, and as a child knowing nothing of the real world, of course I accepted them. We can call it the "Miss-education of Jean DeGrate". I've spent the last 10 years of my life unlearning this bullshit, but now that I'm up on game, I will pass my knowledge off to my seed.

1. Being fake is a big part of being a grown up
As a youngin', my peers and adults told me to: "Speak my mind", "Honesty is the best policy", and all sorts of other similar bullshit that turned around to do more harm than good. Honestly, being phony is the best policy. If it wasn't for being fake, I would have never made it through a single job interview. I have work laugher designated for corny jokes told my co-workers and superiors. I have perfected playing nice with other people I absolutely can't stand for the sake of professional advancement. Keeping it 100 is all fine and dandy when you're slanging rocks on the block, popping off on twitter, and hanging with your homies, but that's about the extent of its usefulness.

2. It really does matter what people think of you
Without the input of others, you can only successfully be two things in life: (1) a bum or (2) a criminal. Unless you plan on knocking over liquor stores or making your bed on the warm heating grates of the local business district, you might want to conform to society just a little bit. The truth is your path to greatness or failure is paved by the judgment of others. Revolting against the machine is dope in concept, but there must be balance to live a productive life. It might not matter what your FB and Twitter friends think of you, but your teachers, co-workers, superiors, and business partners should always view you in a positive light. So no facial tattoos, ok?

3. Don't let your dreams hurt you
The line between what you want to do and what you can do is laden with varying obstacles, none of which are more difficult to overcome than talent and opportunity. Some people fall ass backwards into success and others work entire lifetimes only to never see their dreams achieved. There may come a time to abandon the dream and to start living your life in pursuit of goals that are achievable. Don't be the 30 year old R&B singer trying to get on, quitting a good job to stand in line at an American Idol tryout.

4. See the world how it is and not how it should be
Don't look for the evil in man, but don't look for the good in man either. The modern world is filled with people with good intentions, who lack either the will, courage, or know how to put it into application. Evil exists, and good exists... and you will experience both. Life is unfair and somehow that ultimately makes it fair consequently. Things don't stay bad forever; they get better or you die; whatever comes first.

5. Deciphering what's permanent and temporary in your life
Relationships will come and go even if they seem like they'll last forever (or you at least hope them to). Family and your body are the only guaranteed things in your life; it would behoove you to take care of both. As for other things in your life, you will have you use your discretion to determine what will be around, what will be worth nurturing, and what will be better just letting wither away. This will ultimately decide your priority matrix in life.

Jean DeGrate, I mean your dad has spoken