The Top 5 Reasons Why It's Better to be a Man

...than it is to be a woman of course

It is a 1000 and 1 perks to being a woman but about 994 are immediately negated if you're an ugly bitch. Husky ugly bitches live lives harder than the character Oprah played in "The Color Purple" (Sophia). If this blog was named "Why it's better to be a man than it is to be a pretty woman" I couldn't get pass the title I'm sure of it. Good thing though most of these woman are only pretty in their minds, via Instagram filters, certain strategic camera angles under proper lighting and heavy makeup application. Thank you blog Gods because I extra don't have shit of merit to speak on this week.

1. We don't get periods
If you told me once a month blood would stream from my dick, I would experience moderate to intense abdominal cramping and mood swings I'd fucking flip out. Imagine ruining sheets, expensive chinos and jeans because you got caught slipping and your penis started leaking blood. Nightmare.

2. Only women can be hoes.
.Sluts, skeezers, rollers or whatever other delightful euphemisms folks have come up for describing loose women. I've tried and I've tried some more but I can't logically get around this double standard. Sorry ladies. I'm a hoe because I have slept with a lot of women but in all actuality I'm a stud. You know a guy that gets girls to have sex with him effortlessly, but as easy as I get women to get naked and fall on my penis if I was chick I'd get men a 100 times easier (even I were an ugly woman because niggas are going fuck regardless). Where I have to be some mixture of good looking, charming, well dressed and interesting to a chick fall all over me; a woman only has to noticeably be a woman and receive the same effect from the opposite sex.

3. Being in shape doesn't guarantee attractiveness
Unlike us men folk a woman's level of fitness doesn't necessarily assure that she'll be anymore desirable once her goals are met. She can get as tone as she likes but if her genetics are fucked it will all be for not. Ass like a pancake? No amount of squats can fix that. Body without curves? If she got a body like a box it's going to be boxy at any size 2 or 20; well I guess at size 2 she'd be more of a rectangle.

4. Child birth may very well ruin you
Child birthing often wreaks irreparable damage to the female body. The gym won't un-sag those titties nor relive that nasty case of raisin belly. I've witness some women with crazy bodies drop that first child and go from a strong 9 to a shaky 5 in 9 month's time; they almost never recover either. I got 5 year old and my 6 pack is still intact. Yeah me.

5. Dating someone bi-sexual is detrimental
If a guy ends up dating a bi-sexual female instantly the option for a ménage is on the table. He won or at least is on the outskirts of a potential win. A girl on the other hand ends up dating a bi dude it will end in tears. The door definitely doesn't swing as liberally in that scenario.

*Insert clever closing remark here*
Jean DeGrate has spoken

PS the female version will drop Friday or Tuesday yeah let's just say Tuesday
PSS find me on Twitter @ JeanDeGrate