Monday, July 16, 2012

Be a Lesbian  

It’s a lot of ladies out here losing at love. They end up with bad guys, they themselves aren’t ready for a real relationship, don’t actually acknowledge their proper dating range and whole assortment of other issues that lead to relationship failure. In result of all these love losses they actual lower their dating value with unwanted kids, high mileage pussy, crazy exes and slew of other baggage that your possible Mr. Right might not be ready to sign up for. I know, I know, I know your Mr. Right will accept you for you and your kids, pussy mileage and the charge you took because a former “Him” left an 8 ball of coke in your car when ya’ll got pulled over coming home from Red Lobster that one time. That type of thinking will have you well on your way to being a cat lady or a hoarder. Good luck tho.
 
Accepting you for you
The funny thing about falling in love with somebody flaws and all (but mainly baggage) is getting pass the flaws in the first place.  I know despite your flaws you probably think you’re the best thing since sliced cheese but to a grown man living in a respectable and desirable nature, the check to check struggle fest you’re currently living may not seem like a match made in heaven. Honestly speaking most men are looking for a mate and not a new set of bills (unless they tricking). How much building can you really do with a person if they take away more from the table than they put on it?
 
Dyking just might save you
Lesbians except everybody they only have one prerequisite; you most own a vagina. That’s it. You need more than that to get a library card, but for that good ole woman on woman love the requirement pool is very swallow. You’re not as fine as you were 3 kids, 2 baby daddies and 4 abortions ago trust me they care not; it’s a lesbian out there for you. And it’s all types of Lesbo perks. You’ll never get knocked up by your lesbian lover so you can avoid those costly abortions and pregnancy wear and tear on your body. No condoms; you can wash that dildo with soap and hot water then get back to twerking, it will be as good as new. You can share feminine products; Costco has and economy sized box of tampons that will last you and your “Her” until the apocalypse.  You can leave the Lesbo club at anytime and no judgment will be passed; jumping on and off of Team Lesbo is not really frowned upon by the gay or straight community. Winning a physical fight odds are much better; fighting a dude is pretty much a up hill battle for most ladies (don’t go looking for that Tina Turner “What’s Love Got to Do With It” moment) but woman to woman baby you got a chance and you can both go to work with matching black-eyes in the morning.
 
Waiting for Prince Charming
A lot of women are out here kissing a lot of frogs waiting for Mr. Right to come along. Fuck that dumb shit; just kiss a cooch or two while you’re waiting. Dating all these lames ain’t doing nothing but putting a shit load of unnecessary mileage on that pussy. Prince Charming probably ain’t looking for a chick with 2 kids and a belly with tiger stripes on it to ride off into the sunset with. How you gonna meet the man of your dreams when you're not the woman of anybody's dream? Don’t wait until you’ve been fucked over countless times before you say enough is enough. Switch teams and save yourself some stress and keep your stock value high. A bad bisexual bitch will trump a sloppy baby mother everyday of the motherfucking week. Even if Prince Charming never comes along you might find your queen to be. You never know.
 
Team Lesbo is currently taking new recruits and we probably won't miss you
Jean DeGrate has spoken


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