I Don’t Trust Niggas That…

There are certain things people do and say that just make me leery of their motives and overall outlook on life. Here’re a few…
 
I don’t trust niggas that eat pussy but don’t eat pork
People don’t eat pork for a colossal array of reasons: religion, heath, or shit, maybe they watched “Charlotte’s Web” one too many times. I can’t judge them on any of that. I personally don’t partake in the eating of the vagina; I even wrote a blog about it. Now, how can you draw the line at pork all the while continuing to eat pussy that’s been marinating in panties and tight denim day in and day out (not to mention the random penis that’s been in there)? Come on son. That pork in your local grocery store is government-approved USDA shit. Show me some USDA pussy… I’ll wait. That entire logic is flawed, plus nobody ever got an STD from bacon.
 
I don’t trust niggas that get that little bit of haircut before their dreads
There’s absolutely no good reason on God’s green earth to chop off a row or two of locs to have an inch of brush cut. That’s a sure sign of indecisiveness and blatant disrespect of your hairline. There’s no way you can make concrete decisions if you can’t choose between long hair or short hair.
 
I don’t trust women that wear weaves that don’t even look remotely believable
There was a time when a woman’s weave was meant to deceive; women used to pay top dollar and sit for 8 hours just to get hair from India sewn into their Negro scalps, with surgeon-like precision. Too bad that era ended some time ago. Now, bitches are getting weaves done on back porches during cookouts by another bitch that already had 3 shots of Patron and a jay of loud. One spiral cornrow, 2 packs of tracks, and 3 hours later, she’s looking in the mirror staring at a hair-do that looks less believable than those rainbow-colored wigs clowns wear. I can’t trust women that don’t even put effort into being deceitful.
 
I don’t trust BLACK niggas that date unattractive white women
I’ve never dated a white woman… fucked a handful, but never actually got around to the whole dating thing. Now, if I ever were to date a white woman, she would have to be a topnotch white woman. I’m talking Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, or Topanga back when she had that “Boy Meets World” figure. Do you know the amount of hate you get when you’re out in public with a white woman as a black man? Every black woman that’s within 30 yards of you fucking hates you. If you’re out with a white woman you should just avoid eye contact with all people of color; trust me, they’re judging you bro. Now, if you switch to white and end up with a busted ass Rosie O’Donnell looking bitch, that’s not even worth the ridicule. I couldn’t even begin to understand the motive behind dating a mediocre white joint. All that talk about white bitches giving bomb ass head doesn’t even justify fucking Rosie O’Donnell. Plus, it’s 2011, colored bitches have gotten their head game up-to-par with their white peers. Real talk, let my white bitch lose a motherfucking step, and I don’t give a fuck if we’re married, splitting a mortgage, and my car is in her name (because white bitches have the best credit), I’m leaving her ass with no hesitation.
 
I don’t trust broke women with expensive shit
You work at Staples, but you drive a 2010 Lexus… How are you paying that car note? There ain’t but so much money you could possibly make working behind a cash register. Oh word… you’re clearing $50k a year double bagging groceries and shit? Not in this lifetime. Your handbags total up to the average price of a condo in a bad neighborhood, but you’re a shift manager at CVS. I’m sorry; there isn’t that much savings out here. I don’t believe you did it on your own; I just can’t. You had to lease that pussy out. I’m not saying you’re a flat out hoe; I’m sure niggas ain’t coming thru leaving money on the nightstand and shit, but there’re some sexual favors going down somewhere.
 
I don’t trust straight women that don’t do anything about their facial hair
I mean I’ve never heard a man say “I love bitches with mustaches”. As a matter of fact, that goes for chin stubble and sideburns. Besides the fact that women with facial hair is grossly unattractive, but when you just let those whiskers grow wild you’re saying you don’t give a fuck about your appearance. Nor do you care about being appealing to the opposite sex. I can’t trust a girl with a Rick Ross beard.
 
Maybe, I just got trust issues. Or maybe, niggas and bitches just can’t be trusted.
Jean DeGrate has spoken