I wrote this blog about 5 years ago. We come so far in such a short time. Hoe is now life and in this day and age you can't ask anybody their body count; well it's heavily frowned upon to say the least. Slut shaming is now a thing and of course the tell-tell signs of yesterday aren't as valid as they used be. So it's your friendly social media homie Jean DeGrate here to save the day with a few tips to let you know if new bae (or even you) might be a hoe or not. And by hoe I mean people (male or female) that have a body count that exceeds their years on earth.
They might be a hoe if he/she owns a p3nis
Whether it's a rubber dyck or a real dyck; if they own one (or both) it's a 99% chance they're a hoe. The only thing stopping a p3nis owner from live up to their true hoe potential is finding people to stick the p3nis in.
He might be a hoe if he hash tags all his designer clothing on IG
Men who ain't never had shyt love to show off when they get even the slightest amount of shyt and they're showing off to get some pussi. He's buying tables in the club for the pussi. He's paying 23% interest on a 2011 E Class Benz for the pussi. He's also not turning down any of that pussi he's trying so hard to impress.
She might be a hoe if she's fine but her kids are ugly
Fine women with ugly kids are usually gold diggers and the golden ticket for any gold digger in getting pregnant. The ballers that are reckless enough to knock up a gold digger are typically of the plain Jane variety. The unfortunate side of plain Jane ballers is they tend to be ugly as phck and their genes are strong. This is also why Asia's 6 year old daughter looks like Shannon Sharpe when he was with the Bronco's and smells like black & milds. Don't laugh. I'm dead azz serious.
She might be a hoe if she used to be gay and owns two of my phck trophies
She's been racking up mileage on both sides of game. When the straight side doesn't pan out she's does a few seasons as a gay and when she tired of finding out it's only one tampon left in the box she switches back. Rinse, recycle and repeat.
He might be a hoe if doesn't dress his age
He has a hi-top fade or a man bun. He wears bunch boots (Chelsea boots) and skinny jeans. He has a nose ring. He has rapper-ish jewelry. Only thing is he's over 35 but he's moving in these street like he's 24 but his target demographic are women that are barely legal. All he's wants is the Fashion Nova mammis and the Rent A Center honeys. You know the women that are too young to know any better and get impress when a dude goes to the gas station at half a tank then fills it all the way up.
They might be a hoe if they are always letting calls ring to voicemail
Hoes don't want any problems with their existing roster line up and with that said they never send anybody to voicemail. You let it ring to voicemail you might get a text saying "call me back" but if you send it to voicemail you're definitely getting that spicy text "2 rings. Oh ok."
They might be a hoe if they change their phone number a lot
Part of being a hoe as being previously mentioned is high volume and sometime old work doesn't want to fade softly into the night. NOPE. They keep calling. They keep texting. They call from other people's phone. Sending email to text messages saying "Are you ignoring me?" like they haven't been getting sent to voicemail for 2 months straight. Hoes got to switch the number up like once a year to keep all work off their trail and recent genital mismanagement situations covered up. So when you get that "This BLANK. This is my new number lock me in text" out of the blue you know exactly what it is.
Are you a hoe?
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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