I know some you guys just have to know or at least have to have a general idea of her body count and I got you fam because I speak fluent Womanese. But me personally I'm on my Mario Winans shit; I don't want to know excluding sex tapes, eating ass and of course boy, boy, girl threesomes. That's the no fly zone. So let me get the legal out of the way right fast then we can jump into it.
Due to the sexual non-disclosure act of 2003 it is currently illegal in all 50 states and associated US territories to ask a woman her body count. It doesn't matter if you're dating Mother Teresa of Cherokee Da Ass; all inquiries directly relating to her number of sexual partners are strictly forbidden and can possibly be met with hostile backlash including social media clap backs and questioning your manhood and insecurities. You can legally inquire about sexual acts such as threesomes, girl on girl action, and so on and so forth, but that is the extent of direct sexual history questioning.
Fortunately there's a work around and it requires a great amount of listening and estimation that will get you in the general ball park of her actual body count. Remember the American Pie "multiply by 3" rule? That would be valid if you were dating a high school senior but once she crosses that graduation stage all that shit goes out of the window and it wouldn't matter because of course you're not allowed to ask.
Ok let's get into it
First you have your known unknowns
Chances are if she's over 25 she's had a one night stand, a guy in the friendzone that temporarily escaped from the friendzone to capture the cheeks only to be sent immediately back to the friendzone and/or sex with a celebrity. (Side note - the term "celebrity" starts with having in excess of 20k Twitter or Instagram followers and leading right up to Sean Puffy Combs.) You will probably never be privy to this information so just add 1 out of general principle. She will subconsciously omit these sexual expeditions unless directly faced with them. I.E. when that random "one night stand" guy accidently comes across her Facebook account and sends her a friend request accompanied by a "Hey stranger" DM. And evidently once the story of their encounter is told to you he’ll be upgraded from "One night stand" to "a guy she used to talk to". The story will probably go something like this...
"See this is why I need to get off Facebook. People are always randomly finding me like this guy I used to "talk to" that just started messaging me. If it wasnĺt for family I would have been deactivated this shit." Add plenty of fake outrage for desired annoyed effect.
Second you have "talked to"
Talked to is very vague and the definition should be gauged on a case by case basis. Seriously "talked to" can mean something as light as "we used to text" right up to "he had a key to my apartment and two designated dresser draws", but never actually acquired a title. On average it's 65% chance he fucked and if not it's an 85% chance he came off of some "platonic" head. (Platonic head - when a gentleman caller offers up that mouth without achieving sex as the end game.)
Third you have "dated"
Dating and "talked to" often cover the same ground in the semantics division but the percentage of them actually having sex jumps immediately to 90%. So write this down for every 10 guys she "dated" 9 of them captured the vagina.
Fourth and finally you have "relationships"
The exes seem like it would be really clear cut BUT women tend to reevaluate the relationship retrospectively. Boyfriends get deleted all the time Bih. She might have been claiming a guy 3 years ago this time; posting "Usies" and relationship goals all over social media and one day she'll wake up and deemed him "ain't shit" then delete every traces of him from IG and remove him from her pussy resumé. (Side note - being deemed "ain't shit" doesn't necessarily speak ill of his character or his treatment towards her. Ain't shitness has been known to be labeled to guys whom have recently found love, had a child or simply stopped responding to text messages in a timely fashion. All of this is intricately detailed under the 1980 act of Once Mine Always Mine exclusively prohibiting men from ever moving on in life.) Rule of thumb for the number of relationships listed is tack on 25%.
Ok that's the math go forward and flourish but knowledge isn't necessarily power in this case
Jean DeGrate has spoken
No comments:
Post a Comment