The Nerve of This Hoe

I'm a habitual flirt with women working in retail because a few kind words and some undue flattery just might get me 30% off of my purchase. I don't care if she fat, ugly or Halle Berry I'm approaching them all with the degree of game because my goal ain't those cheeks it's keeping this money in my pocket. I'm thrifty like that and ya'll ain't even know it.

So about 2 or 3 years back I was up in one of those shoe stores in Forestville mall chopping it up with the assistant manager trying to work in a quick discount in for 2 pairs of shoes for Madi. Unlike the normal chick working retail in a rundown mall she was actually an adult and not a hood rat; surprised the shit out of me. Oh and actually attractive enough to be seen with. I got the discount; she took 25% off of all 3 pairs of shoes (tossed in a pair for me). After that I made it point to visit her store every time I was in the mall even if I wasn't in the market for a pair of shoes. (Before any of you pass judgment the Target in Forestville is the closest Target to where I live so yeah I'm out that way at least once a month.) 3 months and 4 pairs of children shoes later we've moved beyond in store flirting and we were texting back and forth. (Oh shit I totally forgot to give this lady a name, ok let's call her Roz.) Then one day out the blue...

Roz - Why have you never tried to see me outside of the store?
And I wanted to say to "Well ma'am you got a boyfriend and on the real you're just a cool cute lady that gives me a discount on my daughter shoes." But of course I didn't say shit like that.
JD - I mean you're the homie if you want to get up you can just say so
Roz - I'm going to come to your house one of these days before work
JD – Its whatever but ain't shit to do in this apartment but watch TV and lift weights. I also live in the hood hood, not the rap hood.
Roz - I don't care I'm coming

At the time I didn't know "I don't care I'm coming" was code for "I'mma give you this pussy stop trying to talk yourself out of it".

Three days later at 7:22am on Wednesday she was ringing my buzzer and I bullshit you not at 7:31am she was completely naked and kissing the tip of my dick. From here you can fill in the blank, right? Right. Ok after that she got low for like two weeks. Sent like 3 text messages no response. I was so worried that I fucked my hook up; all the shoes I should have bought when I had the chance came dancing through my head in a Soul Train line. Just when I though all hope was lost and I'd be back to paying full price she sent me a text...

Roz - Hey
JD - Fuck you been
Roz - My phone been acting up
What a coincidence that her phone broke the day after my penis was in her mouth.
JD - Oh Ok

And just like that we were back like she never left plus her twice a week a.m. sex visit. After about month of that she got super reckless; late night "You woke text", swinging pass the spot after work, she was doing anything. Did mention she had a live in boyfriend?

Then shit got real.
It's like 8:30 on a Tuesday morning and she was due to at my spot about 90 minutes ago. Cell phone rings and her name flashes across the screen. I answer "Where you at?" then a dude says "Oh aigh" and the call disconnects. I'm not going to lie I said a small prayer for her. I just knew that wasn't going to end well. So about 6p that same day her or somebody from her phone keeps calling me back to back to back. I sent ever single call to voicemail; this nigga won't be questioning me about his girl's whereabouts and actions. After about 20 straight minutes of calling she sends me a picture text of her with a black eye and swollen lip and the caption please answer the phone. I answer...

JD - You alright?
The bitch looks like she just went 12 rounds with the champ but what the fuck else was I going to say?
Roz - This nigga done fucked up he put his hands on me
JD - Yeah I see
Roz - What you gonna do?
JD - Fuck you mean? The police don't service your neighborhood?
Roz - Really Jean?
JD - All jokes aside you earned that how did you think that shit was going to go over?
Roz - Fuck you
Phone disconnects

About an hour later she sent me 172 page text message; I read the first 4, maybe, I can't be sure. The gist of what I read was she was on a different level than I was. She expected me to hold her down or at least pretend to give a fuck. For the life of me I don't know how she got there. She gave me discounted shoes and a shot of pussy here and there. Were we supposed to get married? I bet she don't even know my last name because I damn sure didn't know hers. Welp delete thread and block contact. Still to this day I haven't set foot in her store.

I got to stop fucking girls with discounts on shit
Jean DeGrate told you a story