Men and Women: The Shit Done Changed (Version 2.0)

Once upon a time long long ago it was common practice for a man to wine and dine a female during courtship. A man would meet a lady he was interested in and spending money on her was the only way he could prove he could provide for her. Why is that you ask? Because women didn’t have jobs or at least real jobs (nobody is retiring from the make-up counter at Macy’s or selling Avon). When it was time to get engaged the man would go to her father to ask for her hand in marriage and he would then again have to prove he could provide a suitable lifestyle for his daughter. If the father agreed to allow this man to marry his daughter he would pay for the wedding because that young man was taking a bill off of his hands. He no longer had to take care of his daughter so the least he could is foot the bill for the wedding. That was the primary practice up until the late 50’s early 60’s; shit was real story book like.

When marriage kicked off a man could expect his breakfast to be cooked and on the table when he woke up in the morning and dinner in the same place when he came home from work. Everyday he came home to a clean house with washed and ironed clothes; house smelling like lemon Pledge and shit. Outside of washing the car, throwing out the trash, mowing the lawn and occasionally changing a light bulb home life was sweet. During the work week he would do what he had to do keep clothes on their back, the lights on and the mortgage/rent paid. Now if the wife wanted a night on the town yeah he’d pay that because he was the only one making real money. She wanted to pick a few things up from the mall or maybe catch up with some of the girls and hit a bar she had to reach into his wallet to get that accomplished because he was the bread winner.

Now let’s fast forward to today

When all these independent women or at least a shit load you claiming to be (that’s still under investigation) are handling their own and got their own but keep reaching out for more. I personally love women and don’t have the slightest problem with going out getting a few drinks, maybe a meal and finishing it off with a flick and I’ll say “baby I got this please don’t reach for your wallet” I wouldn’t even allow her to do such a thing. If we out enjoying each other company and I’m dropping some cash while we out painting the town red it’s all good and no other stand up man should have any issues with this. Later on down the line women start sentences that begin with “You should buy me”, “I want that” or “I need this” yeah I get chills down my spine when I even think of it. Does that mean because you open legs I should open my wallet? Does that mean because we spent some time together I should spend some cash on you? I’m confused here; that doesn’t sound like a fair exchange.

Let’s try something different
You need your nails done; hey I need my laundry done. When you come to pick up the money for them nails you can pick up these clothes toppling out of my hamper. You need your hair done; I need dinner cooked for me a couple times this week and I’m thinking steak and homemade mash potatoes for starters. You need clothes, purses, money to party and such; how about I give you a key to my spot and you wash my dishes, sweep and mop my floors, fold my clothes, clean my bathroom and do my grocery shopping for a while (I’m running low on paper towels and I left the Sunday paper sitting on the kitchen counter please use those coupons). If you want me to be your Suga Daddy I want you to be my maid.

It’s nothing wrong with doing something nice for the woman in your life every now and then and I’m not talking about Ms New Booty I’m talking about your girl/wife (don’t be an Air McNair). But wasn’t your girl getting her hair and nails done before you so how did that become your responsibility? Wasn’t she fully dressed with a closet full of clothes before you came around? I can see if she was off that Eddie Murphy butt-naked with bone in her nose riding a zebra rocking an afro, then you came along got her a perm and some gear yeah then it’s only right that she look to you for more.

Let’s put the shoe on the other foot since we both work

Let me ask for money to get my hair done. I got locs and like to keep them looking good and they hitting for 70 at the shop.

Let me ask for money to get my nails done. Shit a manicure every now and then can help keep my hands soft when I put them on you baby. You don’t want me rubbing your back with no hard rough hands do you?

Jolly and Fatz trying to hit the club tonight and they want me to go; let me get a few bucks so I can party too. Goose and cranberry 12 at the bar I'm going to need at least 3 of those and it 20 to get in.

Baby it’s a pair of Evisu’s I been eyeing for some time now and I was wondering could you get that for me. You want me to look good right?

You know the answers to these questions? “Hell no nigga you must be high” followed up by some laughter. You’d be hard press to find a chick to give a grown man the option to do a load of laundry to get some club money.

What’s the reasoning behind this?

It’s a combination of two things... A. It’s a gang of dudes that lack enough character and charm (swag) to win the affections of the females they desire without breaking the bank and B. Folks been selling them the dream all their life that it’s the man’s place just to pay for shit. So now it’s like when a dude gets a shot of ass it’s like he owe something for it. I guess nobody came and said when Affirmative Action started and the Equal Pay Act of 1963 kicked in some of the cash dudes were tossing around might slow up some. What I really want to know is when does this independence shit kick in and if ya’ll so independent why your hands always out? Shit girl you grown go head and get your own.

JD is going to stay single I don’t need no more bills
Jean DeGrate has spoken