Tuesday, May 16, 2017

He Switched Up and Fell Off After You Let Him Hit

He Switched Up and Fell Off After You Let Him Hit. Switched up (in this instance) – to drastically change behavior towards party or parties involved in a romantic/sexual situation. There are 3 main reasons men switch up after 1 to 3 visits to the vagina; 1. He is already involved in a relationship/situationship that he doesn’t wish to gamble with any further with his current status. This shit should cover all the explanation needed and sometimes men ain’t shit. It’s the cost of doing business. 2. He was exclusively interested in sex. All the sweet talk, wining and dining was all means to an end. All that say what you want and keep it 100 foolishness doesn’t actually work so the game is the game. Life comes at you fast. 3. The box was trash or at least not good enough to support your other perceived character flaws and package. More eloquently the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Today I’m here to expound on this so let’s go… Everything isn’t for everybody... This is normally when I say your pussy isn’t the great equalizer. Normally I would say life should have shown you by now that your vagina isn’t the game changer. Today I won’t say that. I’m going to go with a different approach. I like chocolate cake. I almost exclusively eat chocolate cake. It’s safe to say I’m a chocolate cake type of guy. I also know chocolate cake isn’t for everybody but it’s perfect for me. Ya’ll see where I’m going with this right? Oh ok, good. You might have some pound cake pussy and once a guy like me comes across your pound cake pussy (which isn’t bad pussy) other things come into factor which leads me to my next point… We all have our pros and cons... It’s a strong possibility that you’re not as dope as you think you are. We as people tend to side step most of our character flaws and pat ourselves on the back for things we’re supposed to do as adults and decent human beings. Like being in shape, taking care of your kids, paying your own bills, being employed, staying out of jail and shit like that. I mean if you accomplished all of that it’s dope for you for managing to be fucking average. Scroll to the bottom of this post and I have a trophy with your name on it. Sometimes your particular combination of attributes, baggage, morals, assets and character flaws doesn’t really go over as well as you might imagine with potential suitors but they’re holding out to see what that pussy is hitting on. You meet a guy however you meet a guy... We all know the game has changed and we are all a bit phony (some of you are an outright sham) so when he pulls up at happy hour or slides in your DM’s after strategically liking pictures for the last 3 months while waiting to see if a boyfriend pops up; either way he’s here now. He’s on your line and you’re on his. He makes you smile and you tell him silly shit like “You lucky I like you a little bit” but you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. Everybody is putting their best foot forward and hiding their hands. You don’t know he has an 8 year car note for 1200 on that 2014 S Class Benz and he doesn’t know that under that layer of Mac foundation the bumps on your forehead look like braille. Then he captures the flag... Ok 12 DM’s, 45 “Good Morning” text messages, 6 $200 dates, 7 nudes, 3 car make out sessions and 1 Netflix & chill later, now here we are. After first time sex it’s a time of reflection. Your value to our life is being evaluated and we’re going down a list. It’s shallow shit on the list like that weird mole on your neck with 3 hairs growing out of it that you refuse to pluck or the fact that you think The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is a better show than Martin. It’s important shit like you work a job that you love instead of taking a job where you could cash out with your degrees or the fact that you live in Waldorf which technically makes you an immigrant and Trump could close off the borders at any moment. Post vagina you can really see a person’s life in HD and the sex is a determining factor on the path we take from there. Pre-cheeks he might have thought you were the one and now you’re a “You up?” text at 3 am after the club or worst you might get your contact info deleted. It’s a lot of pressure on that pussy boo Jean DeGrate has spoken P.S. for those unfamiliar with Waldorf it’s the most northern province of Zamunda

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