As I stated in a previous blog post "due to the structure of society it's a 1000 times better to be an ugly man than it is to be an ugly woman". Men can compensate in so many ways for their lack of facial splendor. Chances are if you're an ugly dude you've already been ridiculed and taunted during your childhood years so you're skin is thick and not only can you take a joke you can probably fire a few back. Bitches love funny niggas but niggas don't necessarily love funny bitches. You're an ugly dude? Cool, get your money up, get buff and dress better. You don't even need to do all 3 in most cases just having 1 or 2 will get you to the pussy promise land. Now on to you unsightly bitches...
If you got a body...
If you got a body, trust me, you will get a pass on being facial challenged. I'm a firm believer that ass is the new face. Having a crazy body can make a large quantity of potential male suitors forget that you look like Terrell Owens in the face. Think I'm lying? Women are getting ass shots and boobs jobs not face lifts and nose jobs. They'll layer that ugg mug in Mac products and get the surrounding real estate up.
The word "No" should be used in extreme cases only
One of the many ways to accommodate for your lack of physical beauty is removing "no" from your vocabulary. You don't really have the luxury of saying no. The fact that men and people in your life period know that you're more likely to not say "no" will make you overall more likeable. I.E. "You like Coke or Pepsi?" your reply "Yes".
Be nice
You need to be an optimistic jovial charismatic and whatever endearing characteristic strait you can think of. You bad attitude having ass ugly bitches are at any given moment a side eye and slick comment away from having a grown man punch you in the face. An ugly bitch is 100 times more likely to be a victim of violence. Even though your face makes you rape proof you are much more susceptible to getting the shit beat out of you.
Talent is a much needed asset
Having some sort of in-demand skill or rare intriguing talent is almost as necessary as breathing. No, like really an ugly women without anything to offer the world is as about as useful as a driver license to a blind man. You got to be able to jailbreak iPhones, do an oil change, know magic, make balloon animals and bake cookies from scratch all at the same damn.
You need to be connected
Your networking skills will make or break you. You need a hook up with concert tickets, Jordan releases and discounted Halloween candy. The relationships you build will be your everything. Part of your ugly ass charm will be that people around you know that you're in good with another ugly bitch down at the DMV and they won't have to stand in line because she's going to fly them in. So those other ugly bitches, that weren't getting prom dates either and probably went off to college then made something of themselves, need to be your network. Fuck keeping in touch with Pam with the phat ass that dated the dude you had a crush then got pregnant and started working at Sport Zone.
You're ugly so you got to go the extra yard
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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