Welcome to the internet age... The days of people bitching and moaning about irrelevant bullshit and wrongs against people that predated their existence by more than 50 years. I really wanted to let team fake outrage cook with all the bullshit surrounding the Zimmerman trial. I know Zimmerman is a racist. But, you want to know who are really racists? Black people. Yep. Negroes are getting smoked everyday, and we turn a blind eye to it because other black men are pointing the pistol. I knew you were all emotionally-charged, wearing your black power fist wooden necklaces, buying Skittles, and shit so I let it cook. But, I can't let team fake outrage carryon any longer without saying anything so here it goes...
Our people were slaves on July 4th 1776
You don't want to celebrate the 4th of July anymore because when America won its independence blacks were still in shackles, tending to crops, and shit? That's deep. But, before we get all wrapped up in this selfless act of non-celebration, please explain how the fuck you were celebrating it before. You bought fireworks? You cooked out? You bought an Old Navy t-shirt with a flag on it? You got the day off from work? Oh. For the record: you never celebrated the 4th of July. Your company does because they gave your ass a paid day off, and if you go in, they'll even pay you double time. If you're so outraged by the fact that there were slaves in America, forfeit your holiday. Donate your money to charity, and do volunteer work that entire day. That will teach the white man who enslaved your people. 'Cause Lord knows these pictures of niggas in shackles aren't ruffling any feathers. Look at it this way: your ancestors could have escaped slavery, and you could be in Africa right now being a regular ass African. See now that your great-great grandma was brought over here on that boat, you're an African-AMERICAN with Obamacare and running water. Aren't you grateful? You damn well should be; the Ivory Coast sucks this time of year.
The leave Rachel Jeantel alone campaign
For those of you who have been living in a box and don't know who Rachel Jeantel is, here's the breakdown: She's the young lady that testified on the behalf of Trayvon Martin and was the last person to speak to him prior to the incident that led to him losing his life. Niggas were praising her as a hero for giving her testimony like Zimmerman was the leader of the KKK and after this court appearance she and her family would be whisked away into protective custody. Niggas, please. Truth be told, Rachel is a 19 year old 11th grader. She spoke poorly, and people made fun of her. Neither the jury nor the judge are reading your tweets or FB statuses; nothing done on social media will have any effect on the outcome of the trial. Find some chill.
Gay marriage, Willow Smith's wardrobe, The Illuminati, Paula Deen, Kanye's kid "North", and the price of cheese grits in Greece...
* Dear straight people, Seriously though, why are you mad about gay marriage? How is it affecting you in the slightest? It's not? Oh. You just feel some sort of way about it? Oh ok. Shut the fuck up then.
* Willow Smith is richer than anybody reading this (and by "richer" I mean "her dad's shoe shiner makes more than you... richer"). If her biggest issue at 12 years old is her lack of fashion sense and the occasional yellow afro, let that little girl be great.
* Whether the Illuminati exist or not shouldn't be any of your broke ass' concerns. If there is some high society of people who choose to worship the devil, sacrifice their love ones, all the while getting rich selling millions of albums to you coons, ain't shit you can do about it.
* Paula Deen said some racist shit and lost her job; that's kind of how it goes when you drop the N word, and you work for TV or radio. You niggas were sitting on twitter, RTing her apology video left and right, all the while she was signing contracts with Fox. Apparently, Fox doesn't care about you niggas' feelings, and you shouldn't care that some cracker you don't know said "Nigga"... nigga. Maybe you should boycott Fox.
* Kanye is a weirdo, and he prides himself on being a creative genius (whether or not this holds true in your opinion is neither here nor there). What the fuck did you expect him and Ray-J's ex-piece to name their baby? Ya'll really were out here trying to guess that kid's name, coming up with every mixture of letters with a K in the beginning. Ha. Little North is already rich. I'm sure she'll be going to school with kids named shit like "Apple" and "Blanket"; she'll fit right in. How is your name going to be regular ass Kandice while your're hanging out with a "Blue Ivy" anyway?
* Oh, and lastly, I don't even know much about the price of grits here in the US food let alone abroad. Sue me; I don't eat shit that looks like slave slop leftovers. However, I do know that Greece is in financial ruin so I'm just going to assume getting cheese in your Grecian grits will be a major feat.
Find something worthy to be outraged about. Perhaps, the body count in Chicago or the fact that a cheeseburger is cheaper than a salad. Go out a start a movement about some real shit.
Jean DeGrate is outraged by your fake outrage
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