First of all, if you aren’t an avid reader, you should (1) stop loafing and subscribe, and (2) refer to category #4 of my “She’s Fine but Only in Her Mind” blog so you’re up on what exactly a “Maybe Baby” is. http://jeandegrate.blogspot.com/2011/01/she-fine-but-only-in-her-mind.html
Now before we get started, let me put it out there that I’ve never hit a flat-out busted bitch. (Well… at least she wasn’t busted at the time.) We all know that “the fall off” is an incurable illness; so what was fine yesterday isn’t guaranteed to be fine tomorrow. My shame comes for hitting these 4’s, 5’s, and shaky 6’s (as in she’s only a 6 on major occasions like weddings, proms, birthdays, etc).
Somehow, (and more often than I’d like to admit) I find myself crawling out of some pussy that I soon after regret. I immediately go to the bathroom, clean myself up, and then stare in the mirror for at least 5 to 10 minutes trying to figure out how the fuck I got to that point anyway. I guess this is how alcoholics feel when they fall off the wagon because I damn sure beat myself up over the entire ordeal soon after planning my exit (or hers). Normally, after the deed is done, I hit them with the meanest Dipset, partially out shame and partially because well… she was busted.
Liquor, boredom, club lights, subpar loose women, and overall just not having shit else better to do has been like kryptonite to my penis. Not that any of those reasons are valid excuses for dicking down Gorilla-looking bitches, but mediocre women pop up like slut magic when I’m at my weakest moments. Often chicks that are forced to sit in the non-smoker section (the “Must Haves” and the “Maybe Babies”) tend to be on-demand like Comcast digital cable. Whether I’m playing wingman or accepting random friend requests on FaceBook or allowing one of my homies to play matchmaker, 9 out of 10 times the situation ends with my dick inside a peculiar-looking chick. You know… the type you will have to hang your head low while copping to hitting that, talking about, “Yeah I did that, but she was so phat on FaceBook, and by the time she got to the house, I was already 4 shots into the 5th of 1800”. I got excuses for days for why I hit the unhittable; shit… sometimes I even convince myself.
I’m 8 months clean, but you know the saying “an idol mind is the devil’s playground.” Well, in my case, it’s a fluke chick’s window of opportunity. It’s 2011, so I’m going to stay focused, looking forward to my one year anniversary. Then after that, who knows… I might just fuck a busted bitch for charity. Well not really so mediocre women please don’t try your hand.
It should really some sort of busted bitch anonymous support group
Jean DeGrate has spoken
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I Can’t Drink That Shit. Yup, I'm a Liquor Snob.
I remember the days when I would drink just about anything with alcohol content. You could have dropped a shot of Listerine in a cup of tea called it hot totty, and I would have been on it. I used to run to the liquor store to get the local wino to cop me all types of bullshit like MD 20/20, E&J, and Paul Mason (a half gallon of Paul Mason was like 17 bucks; you can’t beat that). I used to get ripped every Friday, and wake up considering suicide every Saturday. It seemed like I had cousin Earl on speed dial because before the sun came back up again, I was sure to give him a call or two and sometimes three.
I got off my cheap nigga shit and stopped drinking that gut-rot, hangover-making liquor. I upgraded to drinking the shit rappers kept talking about. If it was in a video, an ad in XXL, or plugged into Jay-Z’s latest verse, I was going to make my way to the liquor store to cop a bottle or two. I mean they are rappers and they are rich… why wouldn’t they drink the best then talk about it? Yeah, the emergence of Nuvo on the Hip Hop scene and my first (and last) glass of Christal champagne changed that entire outlook.
Around 2006, I started coming into actually appreciating the taste of alcohol. I was no longer exclusively chasing a buzz. I put down the Absolut’s, Remy Martin’s, Grand Crue’s, and flavored malt liquors (cheers to you 4 Loko drinkers of the world *holds glass of “Rose’ Moet” in the air*). I looked pass labels and price, and started looking for taste, smoothness, and mix-ability. I also started chopping it up with bartenders, getting their take on alcohol, before I walked into the liquor store to drop my hard-earned cash on it.
Here I am 5 years later, and I’m drinking the best (at least in my opinion… I’m Jean DeGrate so really my opinion is the only one that matters). I’ve pushed aside the Patron’s of the world to drink the 1800’s and Don Julio’s. I’ve stocked my bar with Ketel One, XO cognacs, and Corzo tequila’s… not because Diddy had the bottle of it in a video. (Even though I got 3 half gallons of CIroc on my kitchen counter, unopened. Why? Cause I don’t like the shit, BUT the bottle adds to the ambiance of my bar, and bitches love Ciroc. But, if I’m drinking flavored vodka, Grey Goose Citron is what’s in my cup.) So I challenge you all to go against the grain, search out the best liquors for you (even if some of you dudes just end up drinking Moscato as your drink of choice)… Ok that’s gay, but what I’m saying is… DO YOU!
Tonight, I’m drinking Remy XO straight. What about you?
Jean DeGrate has spoken
I got off my cheap nigga shit and stopped drinking that gut-rot, hangover-making liquor. I upgraded to drinking the shit rappers kept talking about. If it was in a video, an ad in XXL, or plugged into Jay-Z’s latest verse, I was going to make my way to the liquor store to cop a bottle or two. I mean they are rappers and they are rich… why wouldn’t they drink the best then talk about it? Yeah, the emergence of Nuvo on the Hip Hop scene and my first (and last) glass of Christal champagne changed that entire outlook.
Around 2006, I started coming into actually appreciating the taste of alcohol. I was no longer exclusively chasing a buzz. I put down the Absolut’s, Remy Martin’s, Grand Crue’s, and flavored malt liquors (cheers to you 4 Loko drinkers of the world *holds glass of “Rose’ Moet” in the air*). I looked pass labels and price, and started looking for taste, smoothness, and mix-ability. I also started chopping it up with bartenders, getting their take on alcohol, before I walked into the liquor store to drop my hard-earned cash on it.
Here I am 5 years later, and I’m drinking the best (at least in my opinion… I’m Jean DeGrate so really my opinion is the only one that matters). I’ve pushed aside the Patron’s of the world to drink the 1800’s and Don Julio’s. I’ve stocked my bar with Ketel One, XO cognacs, and Corzo tequila’s… not because Diddy had the bottle of it in a video. (Even though I got 3 half gallons of CIroc on my kitchen counter, unopened. Why? Cause I don’t like the shit, BUT the bottle adds to the ambiance of my bar, and bitches love Ciroc. But, if I’m drinking flavored vodka, Grey Goose Citron is what’s in my cup.) So I challenge you all to go against the grain, search out the best liquors for you (even if some of you dudes just end up drinking Moscato as your drink of choice)… Ok that’s gay, but what I’m saying is… DO YOU!
Tonight, I’m drinking Remy XO straight. What about you?
Jean DeGrate has spoken
More Unfortunate Truths
Yep, I’m back to rain on your parade once more. So without further delay, here are a few more unfortunate truths...
You’re not attractive.
Most people are ugly. If don’t believe me… look around your office or school or neighborhood, do a head count of the truly attractive people around, see how many people go uncounted (to avoid all bias, don’t include your friends… but frankly 87.2% of them motherfuckers are ugly too). Sure, we all have some sort of redeeming quality. Naaaahhhh I’m lying. Just as there are Must Have and Maybe women, naturally there are their male counterparts. There’s a lot of folks running around here looking beat in the face and are under the impression that it’s not so. Chances are you’re ugly too and that brings me to…
You’re not a model.
I know Ray-Ray got a banging ass Cannon digital camera for Christmas so he’s upgraded from making RIP shirts to photo shoots. In turn, you went from doing lap dances at the boom-boom room and taking jazzy camera phone pictures in your bathroom to becoming a full out internet model (which is code for I got half naked pics on Twitter and FaceBook). The truth is: you’d probably be more successful inventing a jellybean powered cell phone than actually making it as a real model. The pictures are cool, especially on Tittie Tuesday and Thong Thursday. I like logging onto Twitter to see Photoshopped ass and titties all over my timeline, but bitch pleaseeeeee (and I rarely beg) don’t quit your day job.
“NO You CAN’T” (contrary to what Barack says)
Willpower is something most people lack when it comes to reaching the personal goals they’ve set for themselves. Profiting on your unreachable expectations is big business. Ask the Nicorette people, the Phillip-Morris Corporation, McDonald’s, and Bally’s. You can’t manage to stick to your New Year’s resolutions. It’s ok; nobody really expected you to. Go ahead… just quit. Eat a donut, smoke a cigarette, save the money you wasted on that silly ass gym membership. Being healthy and responsible is played out anyway.
At least one of these truths you can make a lie.
Jean DeGrate has spoken.
You’re not attractive.
Most people are ugly. If don’t believe me… look around your office or school or neighborhood, do a head count of the truly attractive people around, see how many people go uncounted (to avoid all bias, don’t include your friends… but frankly 87.2% of them motherfuckers are ugly too). Sure, we all have some sort of redeeming quality. Naaaahhhh I’m lying. Just as there are Must Have and Maybe women, naturally there are their male counterparts. There’s a lot of folks running around here looking beat in the face and are under the impression that it’s not so. Chances are you’re ugly too and that brings me to…
You’re not a model.
I know Ray-Ray got a banging ass Cannon digital camera for Christmas so he’s upgraded from making RIP shirts to photo shoots. In turn, you went from doing lap dances at the boom-boom room and taking jazzy camera phone pictures in your bathroom to becoming a full out internet model (which is code for I got half naked pics on Twitter and FaceBook). The truth is: you’d probably be more successful inventing a jellybean powered cell phone than actually making it as a real model. The pictures are cool, especially on Tittie Tuesday and Thong Thursday. I like logging onto Twitter to see Photoshopped ass and titties all over my timeline, but bitch pleaseeeeee (and I rarely beg) don’t quit your day job.
“NO You CAN’T” (contrary to what Barack says)
Willpower is something most people lack when it comes to reaching the personal goals they’ve set for themselves. Profiting on your unreachable expectations is big business. Ask the Nicorette people, the Phillip-Morris Corporation, McDonald’s, and Bally’s. You can’t manage to stick to your New Year’s resolutions. It’s ok; nobody really expected you to. Go ahead… just quit. Eat a donut, smoke a cigarette, save the money you wasted on that silly ass gym membership. Being healthy and responsible is played out anyway.
At least one of these truths you can make a lie.
Jean DeGrate has spoken.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
She Fine but Only in Her Mind
There’s a chick in my office who thinks she looks like just Amber Rose, and she will say it to your face. Funny thing is… she would if Amber was 15 years older, unattractive in the face, skinny and built like a number 2 pencil, had poorly aging skin, and dressed like she ran through the closet and put on everything she touched. Yeah, the woman in question is uber light, and yes, her hair is cut low and bleached blonde. But, that doesn’t make her Amber Rose just like an iced-out grill, skinny jeans, and facial tattoos won’t make me Lil’ Wayne.
I said all that to say… some women are extremely delusional when it comes down to their own appearances. I blame this on Adobe Photoshop, camera phones, Black Planet, FaceBook, MySpace, Twitpics, dudes fucking subpar chicks (ok, I can take a little blame here, but that’s another blog), and most unattractive people being able to fight well. (Fact: Most ugly motherfuckers can throw those hands. Just think about it; who would you break bad with first: a Rick Fox look-a-like or an Omar from “The Wire” looking-ass-nigga? My money is on Omar.)
I put chicks in 5 categories (Side note: please don’t ask me to rate you; you might fuck around and get your feelings hurt)…
(1) Fine: Pretty much self-explanatory, but I’ll still elaborate. Flip to the “Eye Candy” section of double XXL. This female normally hits all the checkpoints to make the fine criteria: cute face, great body, nice hair, good skin, etc… Pretty much a girl that looks good enough to make a nigga run across 4 lanes of traffic during rush hour to try to holler.
(2) Nice: This is the chick that’s not hitting all the fine checkpoints. She’s not exactly “Eye Candy” material, but more than good looking enough to be seen in public without any backlash or somebody thinking her male suitor has low self-esteem.
(3) At least (Alise): This is the girl you look at and say well, “At least she’s cute.” or “At least she got a phat ass (or just any feature that might balance out her imperfections).”
(4) Maybe (Maybe Baby): These are the chicks whose winning feature or features can’t quite be pointed out they aren’t quite yet hideous, but they aren’t easy on the eyes either. When you look at them with a man on their arm, you say, “Maybe they’re just friends,” or “Maybe she just had a kid,” or “Maybe got some bomb head” or “Maybe he just like big girls”. You’ll find yourself just reaching for reasons why.
(5) And… finally the Must Have (Busted Baby): This chick is clearly busted… meaning no highlights, just all rough terrain. This is the type of chick that tells you she has 2 kids, and you say, “How?” You’ll try to think of a smooth way to get her to show you a picture of her babies’ father(s). This is the “She must have some bomb credit,” or “She must have taken care of this nigga when he was in jail,” or “She must have some serious dirt on him” type-of chick. Somehow… someway… she must have something that you can’t just see from the outside looking in. Even talking to this chick over the phone is a no go.
On the real, 90% of the time, the Must Haves and the Maybes are the ones with super duper confidence, and these delusional bitches are all around us. It’s the chick with the two liter body standing in front of you at CVS talking on her cell (but really talking for the world to hear) saying, “That nigga will never get a girl on my level again,” and even though you’re thinking, “Yeah he can only go up from there,” you can hear the conviction in her voice. This busted bitch is dead fucking serious. There’s a lot of nickels running around here claiming to be dimes with egos that make Kanye West seem humble.
I think I’m going to start a busted bitch task force.
Jean DeGrate has spoken
I said all that to say… some women are extremely delusional when it comes down to their own appearances. I blame this on Adobe Photoshop, camera phones, Black Planet, FaceBook, MySpace, Twitpics, dudes fucking subpar chicks (ok, I can take a little blame here, but that’s another blog), and most unattractive people being able to fight well. (Fact: Most ugly motherfuckers can throw those hands. Just think about it; who would you break bad with first: a Rick Fox look-a-like or an Omar from “The Wire” looking-ass-nigga? My money is on Omar.)
I put chicks in 5 categories (Side note: please don’t ask me to rate you; you might fuck around and get your feelings hurt)…
(1) Fine: Pretty much self-explanatory, but I’ll still elaborate. Flip to the “Eye Candy” section of double XXL. This female normally hits all the checkpoints to make the fine criteria: cute face, great body, nice hair, good skin, etc… Pretty much a girl that looks good enough to make a nigga run across 4 lanes of traffic during rush hour to try to holler.
(2) Nice: This is the chick that’s not hitting all the fine checkpoints. She’s not exactly “Eye Candy” material, but more than good looking enough to be seen in public without any backlash or somebody thinking her male suitor has low self-esteem.
(3) At least (Alise): This is the girl you look at and say well, “At least she’s cute.” or “At least she got a phat ass (or just any feature that might balance out her imperfections).”
(4) Maybe (Maybe Baby): These are the chicks whose winning feature or features can’t quite be pointed out they aren’t quite yet hideous, but they aren’t easy on the eyes either. When you look at them with a man on their arm, you say, “Maybe they’re just friends,” or “Maybe she just had a kid,” or “Maybe got some bomb head” or “Maybe he just like big girls”. You’ll find yourself just reaching for reasons why.
(5) And… finally the Must Have (Busted Baby): This chick is clearly busted… meaning no highlights, just all rough terrain. This is the type of chick that tells you she has 2 kids, and you say, “How?” You’ll try to think of a smooth way to get her to show you a picture of her babies’ father(s). This is the “She must have some bomb credit,” or “She must have taken care of this nigga when he was in jail,” or “She must have some serious dirt on him” type-of chick. Somehow… someway… she must have something that you can’t just see from the outside looking in. Even talking to this chick over the phone is a no go.
On the real, 90% of the time, the Must Haves and the Maybes are the ones with super duper confidence, and these delusional bitches are all around us. It’s the chick with the two liter body standing in front of you at CVS talking on her cell (but really talking for the world to hear) saying, “That nigga will never get a girl on my level again,” and even though you’re thinking, “Yeah he can only go up from there,” you can hear the conviction in her voice. This busted bitch is dead fucking serious. There’s a lot of nickels running around here claiming to be dimes with egos that make Kanye West seem humble.
I think I’m going to start a busted bitch task force.
Jean DeGrate has spoken
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Why Women Don’t Rule the World
I believe women could rule the world, but they are standing in their own way solely because they don’t know what they want (but I rarely say that shit out loud). They have three key factors in their favor: 1) they mature faster. 2) They control the reproductive process; even a test tube baby needs a woman. And, 3) Chances are it’s a woman raising and or teaching your kids. Now on to my reasons why women don’t rule the world…
1. Not even women know what women want.
The providers and inventors of female products and interest are mainly men. Shit, some dude named Earle Haas invented the tampon. The last thing a woman has invented for womankind that I can think of was the relaxer (Madam CJ Walker). The designers women are raving about normally have dudes running the show, from your Jimmy Choo to your Christian Louboutin. There aren’t many women lining up for that spring line of Baby Phat or Dereon. Even the movies and TV shows ya’ll watch are created by men, i.e. Sex in the City, created by Darren Star, and almost any chick flick involving a woman of color in the last 5 years probably had to go through Tyler Perry (Precious, For Colored Girls, Why Did I Get Married Too?, etc…).
2. Women don’t stick together.
I saw Waiting to Exhale, Steal Magnolias, Sex in the City, and even The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and all those movies were full of shit. Women don’t roll that tight. Friendships between women go up and down like the stock market during the recession; they will be BFFs on Friday then down-talk each other on Sunday like they ain’t shit to each other. I know firsthand; I’m normally the guy they are slanging the dirt to. Being that female friendships are more fragile than a sandcastle in a thunderstorm, it’s impossible for women to bond together and rise up.
3. Women are too fucking indecisive.
Women change their minds at the drop of the dime. If you toss a dime up in the air right now before hits the ground, chances are the woman standing closest to you has changed her mind like 3 times. I talk to women all the time, and what they want out of their hair, men, bodies, and just about everything in-between constantly changes. Women go from long hair to short hair and then to a weave. I’ve seen some women set a list of things they want in a man then go all the way against the grain dating a plethora of ain’t shit niggas while overlooking the good guys. Just in my office alone, this month only, I will see women change from gym rats into couch potatoes and Popeye’s number 1 customers into vegans. They change diet and exercise habits just to get a certain look then give it all up in the same breath.
4. Women are fucking crazy.
No explanation needed. Women being crazy is common knowledge.
The odds of women clearing up these issues in the next 3 millions years are highly unlikely.
Jean DeGrate has spoken.
1. Not even women know what women want.
The providers and inventors of female products and interest are mainly men. Shit, some dude named Earle Haas invented the tampon. The last thing a woman has invented for womankind that I can think of was the relaxer (Madam CJ Walker). The designers women are raving about normally have dudes running the show, from your Jimmy Choo to your Christian Louboutin. There aren’t many women lining up for that spring line of Baby Phat or Dereon. Even the movies and TV shows ya’ll watch are created by men, i.e. Sex in the City, created by Darren Star, and almost any chick flick involving a woman of color in the last 5 years probably had to go through Tyler Perry (Precious, For Colored Girls, Why Did I Get Married Too?, etc…).
2. Women don’t stick together.
I saw Waiting to Exhale, Steal Magnolias, Sex in the City, and even The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and all those movies were full of shit. Women don’t roll that tight. Friendships between women go up and down like the stock market during the recession; they will be BFFs on Friday then down-talk each other on Sunday like they ain’t shit to each other. I know firsthand; I’m normally the guy they are slanging the dirt to. Being that female friendships are more fragile than a sandcastle in a thunderstorm, it’s impossible for women to bond together and rise up.
3. Women are too fucking indecisive.
Women change their minds at the drop of the dime. If you toss a dime up in the air right now before hits the ground, chances are the woman standing closest to you has changed her mind like 3 times. I talk to women all the time, and what they want out of their hair, men, bodies, and just about everything in-between constantly changes. Women go from long hair to short hair and then to a weave. I’ve seen some women set a list of things they want in a man then go all the way against the grain dating a plethora of ain’t shit niggas while overlooking the good guys. Just in my office alone, this month only, I will see women change from gym rats into couch potatoes and Popeye’s number 1 customers into vegans. They change diet and exercise habits just to get a certain look then give it all up in the same breath.
4. Women are fucking crazy.
No explanation needed. Women being crazy is common knowledge.
The odds of women clearing up these issues in the next 3 millions years are highly unlikely.
Jean DeGrate has spoken.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Man Law 2011
These are just a few things I think should be read into man law for the new decade…
Thou shall not wear colorful digital watches (or colorful watches period).
Nothing says I’m old enough to smoke, vote, and drink, but I’m always down for a good game of freeze tag and maybe a happy meal with a orange soda afterwards like a bright candy apple red G-shock on a grown ass man.
Thou shall not take part in female fashion trends.
Remember a couple years back when men were wearing scarves with no coat, no jacket, just like t-shirt and scarf or sweater and scarf. Yeah, that shit was gay. Grown men were running around looking like Mary J Blige from the “Not Gon’ Cry” video or a part-time terrorist with those Keffiyehs (Arab Scarves). Now, in the final quarter of this year, I’ve seen a few men rocking those camel feet looking Uggs, and they look like fucking fools. (If you didn’t know, the Uggs Company makes more than one shoe, and they all don’t look like suede socks.) Just remember, women dress to impress other women, and men dress to impress women, but it doesn’t exactly work if you dress like a woman.
Thou shall not purchase girl cars.
You know that Accord/G37/Altima/3 series coupe you’ve been eyeing for sometime, stop; unless you’re eyeing it for your lady. When I see that Ford Escape pull and park, it almost breaks my heart to see a grown man hop out when I was expecting a 23 year old white woman. I honestly wonder what makes a man go to the dealership and say, “yeah let me get that white Volkswagen Bug”.
Thou shall listen adhere to these new man laws.
Jean DeGrate has spoken
Thou shall not wear colorful digital watches (or colorful watches period).
Nothing says I’m old enough to smoke, vote, and drink, but I’m always down for a good game of freeze tag and maybe a happy meal with a orange soda afterwards like a bright candy apple red G-shock on a grown ass man.
Thou shall not take part in female fashion trends.
Remember a couple years back when men were wearing scarves with no coat, no jacket, just like t-shirt and scarf or sweater and scarf. Yeah, that shit was gay. Grown men were running around looking like Mary J Blige from the “Not Gon’ Cry” video or a part-time terrorist with those Keffiyehs (Arab Scarves). Now, in the final quarter of this year, I’ve seen a few men rocking those camel feet looking Uggs, and they look like fucking fools. (If you didn’t know, the Uggs Company makes more than one shoe, and they all don’t look like suede socks.) Just remember, women dress to impress other women, and men dress to impress women, but it doesn’t exactly work if you dress like a woman.
Thou shall not purchase girl cars.
You know that Accord/G37/Altima/3 series coupe you’ve been eyeing for sometime, stop; unless you’re eyeing it for your lady. When I see that Ford Escape pull and park, it almost breaks my heart to see a grown man hop out when I was expecting a 23 year old white woman. I honestly wonder what makes a man go to the dealership and say, “yeah let me get that white Volkswagen Bug”.
Thou shall listen adhere to these new man laws.
Jean DeGrate has spoken
Monday, November 15, 2010
4 More Great Ways to Save Money
Having safe sex
I know a whole lot of dudes who think they are downright surgical when it comes to pulling out. I don’t care if you smoke weed all the time, wear boxer briefs, and eat/drink large quantities of yellow dye #6. I know Doritos eating, Mountain Dew drinking pot heads with kids. It’s like a good spades hand; 5 and 3 possibles. Try your hand if you like, and that leads me to my next money saving tip…
Buying condoms in bulk
I always see people at the gas station scooping up that 3 pack of Trojans like this is the last time they are going to fuck. A lot of people learned in February that’s not sound practice because all those blizzard babies are due right…about…now. But, besides that, the shelf life on condoms is crazy, meaning the condoms you buy today will expire when Skynet takes over the world, and by then you should be fucking raw anyway to repopulate the world. What’s cheaper: two or three 12 packs of Magnums or 18 plus years of child support? You do the math.
Stainless steel appliances
My stove is white. So is my fridge and dishwasher. Matter-of-fact, there’re only two things I would rather have in stainless steel: (1) knives and (2) guns. People kill me when a selling point/renting point for a place of residence is that all the kitchen appliances are covered in a shiny metal. Does a stainless steel stove get hotter than the basic white joints? Does a stainless steel fridge keep food fresher? Does a stainless steel dishwasher clean dishes faster or get them cleaner? I’m appliance color blind.
Carrying cash only
I roll with cash and cash only; no debit, credit, or check book. Sometimes I roll with a lot of cash and sometimes just 20 or 30 bucks. The general idea is I never walk out the door with more than I’m willing to spend, and this way I never spend more than what I’m willing to spend. When I reach into my pocket that was once full of 20’s, 50’s, and 100’s and is now home to a lonely 5 and a 10, I know my spending is done. Credit cards and debit cards give the false idea that you’re not spending as much as you are. It’s almost like driving a car with no gas meter.
I’m getting money but my goal is to keep it
Jean DeGrate has spoken
I know a whole lot of dudes who think they are downright surgical when it comes to pulling out. I don’t care if you smoke weed all the time, wear boxer briefs, and eat/drink large quantities of yellow dye #6. I know Doritos eating, Mountain Dew drinking pot heads with kids. It’s like a good spades hand; 5 and 3 possibles. Try your hand if you like, and that leads me to my next money saving tip…
Buying condoms in bulk
I always see people at the gas station scooping up that 3 pack of Trojans like this is the last time they are going to fuck. A lot of people learned in February that’s not sound practice because all those blizzard babies are due right…about…now. But, besides that, the shelf life on condoms is crazy, meaning the condoms you buy today will expire when Skynet takes over the world, and by then you should be fucking raw anyway to repopulate the world. What’s cheaper: two or three 12 packs of Magnums or 18 plus years of child support? You do the math.
Stainless steel appliances
My stove is white. So is my fridge and dishwasher. Matter-of-fact, there’re only two things I would rather have in stainless steel: (1) knives and (2) guns. People kill me when a selling point/renting point for a place of residence is that all the kitchen appliances are covered in a shiny metal. Does a stainless steel stove get hotter than the basic white joints? Does a stainless steel fridge keep food fresher? Does a stainless steel dishwasher clean dishes faster or get them cleaner? I’m appliance color blind.
Carrying cash only
I roll with cash and cash only; no debit, credit, or check book. Sometimes I roll with a lot of cash and sometimes just 20 or 30 bucks. The general idea is I never walk out the door with more than I’m willing to spend, and this way I never spend more than what I’m willing to spend. When I reach into my pocket that was once full of 20’s, 50’s, and 100’s and is now home to a lonely 5 and a 10, I know my spending is done. Credit cards and debit cards give the false idea that you’re not spending as much as you are. It’s almost like driving a car with no gas meter.
I’m getting money but my goal is to keep it
Jean DeGrate has spoken
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